ramblings, happenings, and grace

An "Either/or" God?

2011-09-26T18:04:00.000-05:00

I've heard a lot about what's wrong with the church. People are scared, not sure how to fix things, so the best way is to point out what's wrong (yes, I've done his before).

Author Ed Cyzewski writes that we need to tell proactive stories instead of reactive ones. (Read his blog post here).

I think modernity, and the dualistic nature of our culture in general, requires us to think, as Ed points out, in "either/or".

God is not necessarily an "either/or" God.

God is both loving AND just.
God is both holy AND merciful.
God is both transcendent AND immanent.

One thing I like about postmodernity is that it allows us to admit we don't know it all. Postmodernity at its worse is selfish and totally experiential. A postmodern theology based on humility admits there's other voices to the conversation outside of our own understanding. We are continually being transformed. But we need help.

We only see a sliver of God's entire being. We only experience a small bit of God's grace. We need others to help us see God. We need others to help us worship God.

An "either/or" God limits the ways in which God works. The Christianity is a faith of many ethnicities, cultures, understandings, and developments. We cannot reduce God to be "either/or". We need to learn from our fellow siblings in Christ. Even if sometimes, we're not always happy with what they have to say.

In God's eyes, we are on equal standing.

Feet, Voices, and Imagination--an ordination sermon

2011-08-24T21:27:00.000-05:00

Kathy Pickett's sermon at my ordination got picked up on ethicsdaily.com The sermon was on Isaiah 52:7-10. I had never heard that text preached at an ordination sermon, so, as one wanting to be different, I picked that scripture. I hope I can live up to the challenge her sermon presents. Here's a preview:

"As the people of God we are called to join God’s earthly movement, to use our voices, our feet, our imaginations, prophetically; to offer a voice and the foot work needed to bring about an alternative culture and future hope, to imagine and participate in ministry that promotes the upside down kingdom...to prophetically sing of a God who reigns, God with us, celebrating and praising the 'messenger of peace and good news, so that all the ends of the earth will behold the salvation of our God!'"

Check it out.

"We Ordain Women Because We Baptize Little Girls"

2011-08-22T09:13:00.001-05:00

For my ordination service on August 21, 2011, I was able to respond to the outpouring of blessing of the congregation.

This is a good day for our church. Holmeswood has a history of being a teaching and mentoring church for persons who experience a call into ministry. We have walked alongside one another for more than 2 years—first when I was a layperson, then as a staff person. I am thankful for the ways you have taught me, let me lead, and forgiven me when I have messed up. Please know that I take this ordination seriously, and your blessing with a holy fear.

Chuck Poole, pastor of Northminster Baptist Church in Jackson, Mississippi, preached “we ordain women because we baptize little girls.”* I am thankful you have put this into practice. This recognition that I was called to vocational ministry has been a decade-long journey. It hasn’t been easy; I’ve had a few wounds along the way. Thankfully, I can bear those scars, knowing I could not stand here without hundreds of Christians teaching me, encouraging me, praying for me, and guiding me. This great cloud of witnesses has guided me from when I was a little girl at Centertown Baptist Church, baptized at the age of 10, to the teen who first recognized God’s calling me to ministry at 16 while on a mission trip with First Baptist Jefferson City, to today, here at Holmeswood.

As Baptists, an ordination ceremony reminds us to remember that all of us share in the ministry of the Triune God; all of us participate in God’s mission. This mission may look different than it did even 25 years ago. We are experiencing a shift in culture in the way we think and the way we approach God. It’s a scary time to go into ministry. We don’t know what the church will look like in 30 years.

But I believe that the Holy Spirit who called our mothers and fathers in faith, who calls our children to follow Christ through baptism, and who calls us all closer to Jesus, will continue to work through us in ways we have yet to dream. I hope as a minister to have an open mind and open heart to discern the workings of the Spirit in our church and our world today. I ask you, the congregation, to please hold me to that.

*Chuck Poole, “We Ordain Women Because We Baptize Little Girls,” A sermon on Galatians 3:27-29. The Center for Baptist Studies, http://www.centerforbaptiststudies.org/sermons/sermonindex.htm. Accessed 12 August 2011.

Ethically Speaking...

2011-08-17T21:17:00.001-05:00

For my ethics class, we had an assignment to write a code of ethics. All the students signed each others code of ethics as a practice of accountability. I submitted it to the deacons before the ordination council. It brought up some good conversations that had not been really addressed before.

There are some ethical issues that free church traditions (like my Baptist one) overlook. I hope by giving the deacons this, I can be transparent and accountable for my actions.

The inspiration for this code of ethics is Trull & Carter's Ministerial Ethics: Moral Formation for Church Leaders.

How we think ethically ultimately plays out in how we witness and how we act. To what extent should church leaders have & make a code of ethics? Would this be a violation of a non-creedal position that the free church tradition usually holds, or would it be the best expression of it?

I am thankful for this assignment and my peers for keeping me accountable. Here is my code of ethics:

I have been called by God to represent Jesus Christ by the power of the Holy Spirit, with the affirmation and blessing of the church. This code of ethics will help me minister most effectively and be the best witness of Christ as possible. I willingly live by these ethics.

Section 1: Personal and Family Relationships
I am God’s child and called to be a Christ-follower regardless of where I minister, my vocational setting, or status in life.
I will strive to work toward a healthy marriage and healthy family. My marriage and family will not be secondary to the church.
I will live a life of prayer, devotion, and awareness to the Triune God.
I will seek self-care, including keeping the Sabbath Command, counseling when necessary, and vacation time. This includes caring properly for my body by resting and enjoying exercise.
I will be responsible with my finances and be a good steward.
I will avoid sexual or emotional relationships with parishioners. I will avoid using my authority as a minister to be abusive. I will maintain healthy boundaries with congregants.

Section 2: Congregational Relationships
I will remain impartial and fair.
I will strive to learn more and grow so I may grow in Christ and as a minister.
I will keep confidences except in the case of child abuse or imminent harm to another individual (including suicide).
I will make every attempt to speak truth and not plagiarize. If I do not know the source of something in which I refer, I will freely admit that, or not use the illustration at all.
I will attempt to model conflict management and transformation in a positive way, respecting the dignity of every person.
I will respect lay leaders and staff as valuable partners in ministry.
I will be a good steward of my time, understanding that the church entrusts its finances to me in the form of a salary.
I will not seek compensation for care provided, or favors because of my setting. I will not regularly engage in paid activities that take me away from my primary responsibility as a minister.
I will prepare ministry to continue after I leave, regardless of circumstances.
I will treat everyone with dignity and respect, modeling my behavior after Jesus, in public and private settings.
I will maintain a presence whereby persons are free to express their thoughts, feelings, and doubts.
I will engage in missional efforts, and support laypersons that do so.

Section 3: Collegial Relationships
I will advocate for fair pay for my position and other colleague’s positions.
I will not “steal sheep”, or attempt to gain parishioners from congregations. Transfer from another church will be initiated and led by the parishioner.
I will respect other ministers and their calling, even in the midst of theological difference.
I will consider ministers as colleagues worthy of respect and mutual support. I will support their work and their ministry by not talking negatively about them in public and by not competing with them.
I will consider fellow ministers as peers. I will engage with them so we can learn from one another and grow together.
I will treat predecessors and successors with respect, and provide encouragement and advice when and if needed.
I will not perform pastoral duties or advice for a former church without the blessing of the current pastoral staff. I will not interfere with the duties of a successor so he or she can minister fully.
I will value and respect retired ministers.
If I realize misconduct by another minister, I will report it the appropriate authorities.

Section 4: Community Relationships
I will engage in community service, provided that it doesn’t interfere with my ministries in the church. When I engage in community service, I realize I am a representative of my church and Christ.
I will engage in causes that merit social action and social justice. I will advocate for all persons as being made in the Image of God.
I will work together with the Cooperative Baptist Fellowship and support the Cooperative Baptist Fellowship’s causes, understanding that I have received a scholarship through them, and could not be a minister without their support.
I will support and encourage laypersons to pursue in community service, regardless if it affiliated with the church or not.
I will respect the vocations of all persons.
I will not engage in politics, or use my ministerial position to promote a political candidate. I will encourage my parishioners to vote and be good citizens, but I will not encourage them to support a particular candidate or party. In situations where an issue may be unjust, or may have a negative impact on the community, I may speak on whether to vote for or against the issues, but not from the pulpit. I will respect the opinions of persons who differ from me in politics.

What to Wear?

2011-08-15T21:42:00.001-05:00

I did one last check in the mirror before leaving. I was wearing my “This is What A Preacher Looks Like” t-shirt, a t-shirt sponsored by Baptist Women in Ministry to raise awareness for female preachers in a denomination that still seems behind the times for accepting and promoting women in the pulpit. I thought about where I was going and what I was going to be doing that day, and changed into a Kansas City Royals t-shirt instead before departing.

I was visiting some friends in a small town. If I wore the shirt, I may have come off as arrogant or overly aggressive to persons not exposed to women in ministry or moderate to progressive theology. I probably would have not given a very good impression to persons who may have visited my friends while I was there. It’s hard to convey such pride or arrogance while wearing a Kansas City Royals t-shirt. At best, I would get a smirk.

I’ve experienced an interesting journey as a female in ministry. I first experienced a call to ministry at age 16 following an international mission trip. Because of a good scholarship, I attended a school where I got to try out various areas of ministry—except preaching. Unfortunately, preaching was off-limits for women based on theology. So I bid my time and bit my tongue, except with a few people I could trust.

With the support of a home church, family and friends, I was able to recognize and discern my calling as a pastor even in the midst of a somewhat hostile environment. I experienced an openness and freedom when I arrived at seminary. I gained a self-confidence to express myself without restrictions and without fear of people telling me I was wrong. And I got to preach. My teachers and peers affirmed and encouraged me.

In some ways, I feel as if I’ve earned this t-shirt--I like to preach, and this is what I look like. I've navigated numerous tensions of people not approving of my calling. Even people who say they are for women in ministry have rarely given women a place at the table.

Serving full time in a church now, and graduating from a seminary that celebrates women in ministry, I can wear this preacher t-shirt with thankfulness and gratitude to God who has sustained me and continued to call me.

But sometimes I need to realize the context of why I’m wearing this shirt & where I’m wearing it. I could be so caught up in my own cause that I neglect the wider society. I could become such an aggressive advocate for women in ministry that I forget that I also need to be advocating with the same fervor for the poor who have lost hope, the overlooked who may have never had any hope, and the neglected who don’t know what hope is. Sometimes, to wear my “this is what a preacher looks like” t-shirt is to break, according to my ethics professor Terry Rosell, rule number 2: it’s not about you.

When does my wearing my “preacher” t-shirt become a sin? When should I wear it to help people gain understanding? When should I wear it as a prophet? When would it cause more harm than good? Have I already done that, unintentionally?

Many aspects of faith are similar to this. When we wear a cross around our neck or bear ashes on our forehead, we do not just represent ourselves—we stand for Christ. People around us will examine us extra carefully to see if we conduct ourselves like Jesus would. It’s a big deal. It’s a serious deal.

I wonder if Jesus would ever wear “this is what a preacher looks like” t-shirt.

Would he even wear a Kansas City Royals t-shirt?

A Holy Fear

2011-08-12T16:35:00.000-05:00

I've written 6,000 plus word ordination paper and have submitted a code of ethics to the deacons.

I've prayed, studied, & served in various organizations.

I've selected my ordination vows and planned the service.

And after 10 years of first hearing God's calling me to ordained ministry, next Sunday, that "dream" will come true.

I use "dream" in quotes, because it doesn't seem real yet.

But I'm afraid.

Will I live up to the ordination vows? Will I be able to follow God's leading in the tough times? Will I be faithful to my local church, and the church universal? Will I stand for what is true and what is just? Will I be humble & serve well all people?

By the grace of God, I hope so.

Here's where I wish I was

2011-08-11T21:19:00.000-05:00

I took this in Thailand at sunrise. I traveled with my seminary to help with the Thailand Baptist Missionary Fellowship's annual gathering.

The only thing that could make it better is if Steve were there.

Turning the World Right Side Up

2011-07-29T22:49:00.000-05:00

“Turning the World Right Side Up”
Matthew 5:43-48
Kate Hanch, Children’s Pastor and Ministry Associate
Preached at the Academy of Preachers Breakout Session at the CBF General Assembly
June 24, 2011

Love people who hate your guts.

Welcome those who would rather ignore you.

God sends good times and bad times on good people and bad people.

I haven’t really heard these things on the top 10 topics of preachers and theologians.

I’m sure they weren’t popular in Jesus’ time, either.

There’s something about loving our enemies that makes us uneasy and anxious. It goes against our gut feelings and automatic responses. In a world of many polarizing politics and reality television that capitalizes on finding the scapegoat, and too few stories of reconciliation and peace, Jesus must have not meant for us to follow this command literally. This commandment is much too hard.

Maybe we should try to interpret this passage like we would the parables, digging for hidden nuggets of truth behind characters or images. Or maybe we can apply this passage to Jesus’ day only. Jesus’ listeners would have identified their enemies right off the bat. These Judeans certainly felt the strain of oppression of Roman Rule that required them to pay outrageous taxes and tiptoe around Roman officials. Rome determined how they would live and if they would live. They may have experienced some peaceful times, but they were not truly free. The Judeans would have understood who their enemies were, and Jesus’ words might have brought up feelings of anger, resentment, pain, and denial and not-so distant memories where they were exploited or unheard.

Or maybe we are to interpret this passage metaphorically. Enemies could be drugs, power, poverty, fundamentalism, liberalism, greed, or a whole host of issues circling our political and church arenas. As the popular saying goes “hate the sin, but love the sinner.” It seems to be an easy fix. But we realize that behind all those things are faces, real people, with whom we must interact. Jesus uses metaphors in many situations, but I’m not sure this particular qualifies.

All enemies are born out of some kind of conflict. The Romans could not have realized that they were considered to be the enemies. The Judeans were probably not allowed the privilege of telling the Romans that they were the enemies. I’m sure many of us have seen enemies or have been enemies without even realizing it. In a former workplace of mine, some people on the staff were not as open toward women as pastors. One staff member, we’ll call Bob, heard that I wanted to be a pastor. (Now, I didn’t necessarily proclaim that fact from the halls, but he had overheard a conversation I had with someone who welcomed women in ministry.) One day, when I was working, Bob came to my workspace. After making small chat, he asked how I could be a minister when there was biblical evidence to limit women’s role in the church. Now I got along with Bob, and we did have many other conversations before and after this one. Bob and I had a congenial relationship. But that day, I couldn’t help to think of Bob as the enemy.

Enemies come from all walks of life. It could be a neighborly dispute. It could be a family drama. It could be a difference of theological perspective. These conflicts can stem from 200 years ago to 2 decades ago. Most of Baptist history is rife with conflict, and part of CBF’s heritage is born out of conflict. While, in CBF’s case, conflict allows new life to grow, it may create enemies along the way. It seems inevitable. As a woman, how to I attempt to love someone who won’t hear my voice? Jesus words seem impossible and futile.

But perhaps we have a limited perspective or view. Maybe, as Martin Luther King suggests, we need to look at this passage from God’s point of reference. Maybe we should put on our “God glasses” and imagine how God might view the world. After all, God created every human being in God’s image, from Osama Bin Laden to Gandhi to homeless man on the overpass to the three year old in Sunday school class. When we put God’s glasses on, we see a beautiful diversity of all peoples. We realize that to love our enemies is work toward realizing the reign of God. When we put God’s glasses on, we see God in partnership with humanity to bring about the full reign of God. When we put God’s glasses on, we unite with God in turning the world, as my preaching professor Mike Graves says, right-side up.

Part of turning the world right-side up could be looking at this passage with a new set of eyes. It could be redefining who the enemy is and how we are to respond. Justo Gonzalez, a Cuban-born theologian, realized that he was looking at this passage from the wrong position. He asks the question “What if I’m the enemy?” What if I’m the persecutor? What if I’m the unrighteous?

From Gonzalez’s perspective, to be in the position of the enemy is easier than one realizes. He asks “What do peoples around the world think of our overuse of resources while millions are starving? Could we be the enemy?” He questions “What about future generations who suffer in a polluted climate? Will they see us as the enemy?”

It hits closer to home for us, too. Pastor Kathy Pickett was telling me of her conversation with Toni Buffalo, a Lakota woman who partners with Together for Hope, a CBF initiative. Toni told her of her initial difficulties in coming to church and embracing the Christian lifestyle. For years, the church had been a hindrance instead of a help, forcing the Lakotas to conform to a language and way of worship that had harmed Lakota traditions and spirituality. These churches were often associated either explicitly or passively, with the U.S. policies that limited the voice and the freedom of the Lakotas and other Native American peoples.

We could have enemies. But we could also be the enemy.

What would it be like to imagine a world turned right-side up, where we as people of God love our enemies? In a world turned right side up, how could we imagine asking forgiveness of those whom we have hurt? What then would the reign of God look like? We know God’s reign might not be fully realized in our day, but our goal as God’s children and Christ’s siblings is to give to give glimpses of the kingdom by loving those who seem to hate us—regardless of nationality or Baptist brand—but by also giving an ear to those whom we may have hurt. We picture what Jesus had in mind what the reign of God might look like—a community where there is mutual sharing of love, listening, and reconciliation. A world where reciprocity thrives. And even if some people don’t want to participate in what the reign of God might look like, we can still love them, for in God’s eyes, they are our dear sisters and brothers.

Turning the world right side up might look like the response efforts of the tornado in Joplin, only a couple hours away from where I live, where many camps of Baptists, other denominations, and non-profits work side by side along with Joplin residents to clean up homes and help heal hearts. Since, as the text says, bad times fall on all peoples, we are to love and care for all peoples when they are hurting.

Turning the world right-side up might look like listening to stories and accounts of people whom we have hurt through our actions and inactions. I think that Together for Hope, CBF’s rural poverty initiative, does well in listening to the stories of persons trapped in poverty, often by economic or political structures that have made it impossible for them to escape. Turning the world right side up may mean asking forgiveness on behalf of the church universal for its abuses or neglect.

While CBF may have been born from conflict, we don’t need to stay there—and we aren’t. I’m thankful in the many and various ways that CBFers are partnering with God from Ethiopia to the Texas border, from Miami to Slovakia, from Thailand to Kentucky. As a CBF Baptist, I look forward to joining with you, with Christ Jesus as our guide, to help turn the world right side up.

Works Cited
Matthew Myer Bolton, , “Matthew 5:38-48, Homiletical Perspective”, ed. David L. Bartlett and Barbara Brown Taylor, vol. 2 of Feasting on the Word: Year A (Louisville: Westminster John Knox Press, 2010), 385.

Justo Gonzalez, “Loving the Enemy I Can't Forgive,” Living Pulpit 1, no. 3 (1992): 20-21.

Martin Luther King, Jr., “Loving Your Enemies,” Creighton University Martin Luther King, Jr. Day Celebration, http://www.creighton.edu/events/mlk/speeches/lovingyourenemies/index.php (accessed June 20, 2011).

Barbara Brown Taylor, Altar in the World: A Geography in Faith, (New York: HarperCollins 2009), 13.

Sweet Dreams

2011-07-18T16:21:00.003-05:00

“Sweet Dreams”
Holmeswood Baptist Church, KCMO
Kate Hanch, Children’s Pastor & Ministry Associate
The Fifth Sunday After Pentecost
Genesis 28:10-19a
July 17, 2011
Psalm 139:1-12, 23-24, Matthew 13:24-43, Romans 8:12-25

Photo credit

Jacob was an ordinary guy—a very earthy figure. I’m not sure we would like him as a coworker or on our team. Like all of us, he had gone through his share of trials. He had made his fair share of mistakes. He knew he had done things wrong. I’m not sure if he cared about what he had done.

Jacob was running from very real things. We learned last week of a reason Jacob had to run. Jacob had lied to his father, and tricked his brother, Esau. He had rightfully earned his nickname as “Grabber.” Had Jacob stayed, he would have probably died at the hands of Esau. What he had done made him unsafe.
So, with his mother’s help, he runs away. There’s no other option—he has to get away.

He can’t run all the way. So he stops for the night, in the middle of nowhere, but on the way to somewhere. He’s tired and weary. Many of us have felt this way. I’ve encountered many young adults in this position. We’re trying to make sense out of a vocation and trying to find an identity apart from our family of origin. We’re not sure where we belong. Jacob surely felt like this, especially after all he had been through. In such an isolated place where he spends the night, he can’t stay with anyone. He’s alone. So he finds a rock that will suit him as a pillow and curls up under the night sky.

Have you ever looked at the stars where there are no lights around—anywhere?
The closest I got to was the summer after my freshman year in college, I worked at a Christian camp called Logan Valley, 3 hours from any sizeable town in South Central Missouri, 10 miles from the nearest grocery store, and with only 2 or 3 radio stations you could pick up on the dial. In that ordinary place, in the middle of the Ozarks, other staffers and I encountered Christians from all over Missouri coming for the week or a weekend for spiritual renewal, enjoying the scenery.

One night there was a lightning storm—it didn’t rain, but flickers of light transgressed the landscape quite frequently. The power at Logan Valley went out. There were no streetlights, and the nearest house was several miles down the road. We stumbled around at first, guessing where we might find a flashlight, and attempting to walk from place to place. We couldn’t our hands in front of our face, and the thick night made everything seem quieter.

And then we looked up. And all the references about the stars in the sky from Genesis finally made sense. The twinkling lights made us stop and stare. Some of us found the sidewalk as a resting place, used our hands as a pillow, and gazed upward. Quietness came over us as we got lost in the mysterious universe.
Jacob might have felt a sense of quiet as he chose the stone that would be his pillow and gazed up at the night’s sky. I wonder how long it took him to fall asleep. Perhaps his mother, who loved him dearly, came to his mind. Would he ever see her again? Maybe he was worried about if his brother would find him. Did he ever have feelings of regret? Or maybe he was so exhausted physically and emotionally that he just could have collapsed. Have you ever felt like that?

Jacob had a whole combination of emotions and anxieties. After some tossing and turning, and finally getting comfortable, Jacob falls asleep. Then he experiences a dream that changes his life. In this dream, Jacob encounters the living God.

There’s a mystery in dreams. In our dreams, we have no way of knowing what will happen next. When we are dreaming, we have no control. In some sense, we are helpless participants—having a role, but not knowing what we are doing.

I imagine this was probably what Jacob experienced in his dream. He had no control of the angels going up and down the ladder. He didn’t anticipate what God would say.

Jacob had never spoken to God before that incident, at least what’s recorded in the Scriptures. His father had encounters with God, but Jacob had not yet. Jacob had never asked God for help in his perilous situation. God just made Jacob aware that God was there the whole time, working through everything. In this dream, God comes to Jacob.

And maybe a dream was the only way that God could come to Jacob—in a place where Jacob could do nothing about it, just observe. A place where Jacob was safe. And the best place where God could come to a still, peaceful, Jacob was in his dreams.

Dreams can take on many different meanings. You can buy lots of books about dream interpretation. There are some meanings in Jacob’s dream that Old Testament figures would have picked up on, that we have a harder time today figuring out because of our cultural disconnect. Hebrews would have recognized the constant movement of the angels as God’s continual communication and presence with people. In this dream, they would have seen the ladder as the link between heaven and earth, between God and humanity.

And in this dream, the most amazing thing happens. God blesses Jacob. God told Jacob that his descendants would outnumber the dust of the earth slept on. Jacob had heard about this before. God had promised his grandfather Abraham would be blessed with land and descendants. Jacob’s father Isaac had also received a similar blessing. And yet, Jacob might have wondered if it would continue with him—a single guy with some family issues?

But yet, God continues to bless Jacob. God promises to be with Jacob wherever Jacob went. When Jacob had run away from his problems, God found Jacob. And God blessed Jacob.

When Jacob awakens, the place wasn’t different at all. He stretched out on the ground and rolled on his back. The stone he had for the pillow was still there. The brush didn’t look any different. There were no sparkles in the dust. And yet, the whole place felt different, felt holy.

So Jacob, because of God’s blessing, declares that place Bethel, which in the Hebrew means “House of God.” I wonder if an outsider would consider it such. I’m sure it didn’t matter to Jacob what other people thought—the place where he had slept, the place where he had encountered God was holy.

Not many of us have encountered God in our dreams, while we were sleeping. But hopefully we have encountered God in this place at 97th and Holmes. And in our lives, where we work, live, play, and dream. Where does God call us where we are hurt, when we are running away, when we do not even look for God?

Where is our Bethel—where is our “House of God”?

I graduated from seminary with a guy who did not intend to be a pastor. His biography in the graduation program said he would continue his current work at his insurance company. He would be ordained as a workplace chaplain—called to minister in the midst of his job. It was an ordinary insurance job, but God had ordained it as holy, as Bethel, as God’s house.

Our “Bethel” may look ordinary, but God has designated it as holy. It could look like our food pantry here at church or where we sew blankets and quilts. Bethel could look like Forest Avenue homeless shelter. It could look like our homes where we raise our children. It could look like the stores we shop in. We may not realize God’s presence, but all of the sudden we’ll say—surely this place is holy. Our Bethel, our house of God, can sometimes happen in the dreariest moments of our lives—like Jacob’s. God’s presence could be anywhere.

God comes to us where we are, as we are. We can see how God is already calling us in various ways—right where we are is the House of Bethel. Let us dream dreams that allow God to enter in to change our hearts and transform our world. What place will we declare holy?

Bibliography

Attridge, Harold, ed. The HarperCollins Study Bible, Revised Edition. Copyright © 2006, Harper Collins Publishers.

Taylor, Barbara Brown. An Altar in the World: A Geography of Faith. Reprint ed. New York: HarperOne, 2010.

United Methodist General Board of Discipleship. “Lectionary Planning Helps for Sunday.” http://www.gbod.org/site/c.nhLRJ2PMKsG/b.3879973/k.9C35/Lectionary_Planning_Helps_for_Sundays.htm Copyright General Board of Discipleship. www.GBOD.org Used by permission.

For Jennifer, On ordination

2011-07-13T21:01:00.004-05:00

Jennifer accused me of not blogging--a truthful accusation, at that. So I'll post something I wrote my last semester of seminary.

Since this has been announced at church, I think I can announce it to blogosphere. I am a candidate for ordination at Holmeswood Baptist Church. I am thankful & humbled by this consideration. In our Baptist Church, it is the local church who ordains. So this Sunday, July 17, I will go before the deacons as they consider me for ordination.

In Theology, we were required to write what we believe about ordination. Here are my thoughts:

Ordination

I believe ordination is by the work of the people in conjunction with the Triune God. Ordination has biblical traditions with the blessing on the priests in the Hebrew Scriptures and the commissioning of the disciples and the establishment of deacons and elders in the New Testament. Ordination is a testimony to a church that is willing to empower and train ministers. In a sense, it is just not one individual being ordained, but the entire church, as members have invested their lives and knowledge in building up of an ordained person. Ordination is important because gives testimony to a called person’s life in the area of vocational ministry. Laying on of hands allows the whole congregation to participate in the ordination process and affirm the candidate for ministry. Ordination ceremonies should be a place where all believers are reminded of their commitment to follow Christ. While it is a rite of passage for the called candidate, it should not regard the ordained person as more special or having more divine authority than other members of the congregation.

Expanding on my Free Church tradition (and perhaps going beyond it), I believe that ordination is not needed for administering the ordinances. As a non-ordained staff person, I have helped preside over communion as well as baptized someone. I am humbled that the church has allowed me this opportunity as a minister in training.

I am thankful to be a part of a church that intentionally gives opportunities to young and new ministers. If I'm approved, I hope that it will be a time of celebration and affirmation of the church's commitment to God's mission.

What Love Really Means--A Sermon on Luke 23:33-43

2010-12-22T22:05:00.002-06:00

I wonder if this is the best description of Jesus as king. It seems as if everyone around him does everything to suggest Jesus is not king. He dies on a place called The Skull, the place of death. Jesus, with his arms outstretched wide, is put in the most vulnerable situation a person could possibly be in. He is situated above the crowd, where all passersby can look upon him. His whole being is exposed to the world. Vulnerability is not a very tough position, and not very king-like. Yet this Jesus hung on a tree is the person who we call king.

Yet Jesus, our king, became vulnerable to the whole world.

Jesus became vulnerable to the soldiers, the very people who poked him, prodded him, and measured his body so he would be affixed to the cross properly. They did not really care whether Jesus was innocent or guilty at that point. After making sure he was on the cross, they made a game of dividing his possessions. The soldiers knew Jesus couldn’t be a king. Their king was Caesar, and they had only seen pictures of him. With Jesus, on the other hand, they saw every scar and every tear.
The religious leaders teased him relentlessly, confirming that they were indeed right all along, this guy was crazy. They wrote the sign “this is the King of the Jews” in order to make an example of him—like a political cartoon caption describing the party the cartoonist didn’t like . Jesus’ crucifixion had confirmed that they would still yield some power and maintain the status quo for a long time to come. In fact, the leaders had studied the scriptures, and they knew for sure what the Messiah would look like. He would be handsome, have charisma, and tell them exactly what they needed to do. He would have conquered Rome by now, and the kingdom would be peaceful and prosperous with the Jewish God as the one true God. This Jesus guy told weird stories, rode on a donkey, and had a ragtag team of followers of the most unsavory sort. His friends and followers included a tax collector for Rome, a woman living in sin, a former demonic, a few beggars, and some fishermen. A king would never hang out with anyone like that.

But yet our king, Jesus, befriended the people that no on liked, and became vulnerable to people he knew may damage his reputation.
I knew of a teenage girl who to the risk to befriend people who had been neglected by everyone else. She saw that some students with cognitive disabilities were never invited or included in the high school prom. So her senior year, she decided to personally invite the students to prom with her. She danced with them and took pictures with them, and smiled with them. She enjoyed herself and enjoyed their company. There was a risk involved in her decision. Her boyfriend broke up with her, and I’m not sure if many students talked wit her at the prom. However, she was open, was vulnerable to these students who were also created in the image of God.

I wonder where we would place ourselves if we were standing there at the crucifixion scene, looking up with Jesus. The rest of the people stood off to one side. Would we have laughed at the saying “King of the Jews” above his head? He was not powerful, he did not have any money, and what little he had was currently being divided by the powers that be. Would we have been one of Jesus’ followers, but were too afraid to claim him now, like Peter? His disciples appeared to be Jesus’ closest friends, yet they had probably ditched him when he was sentenced to death. Or would we be with the women, who were wringing their hands and dabbing their eyes? The women shuttered when the guards offered Jesus leftover wine. They closed their eyes and focused their face downward when Jesus cried out in pain. They felt totally helpless to comfort Jesus, and maybe avoiding Jesus’ face was the best way for them to cope. Or could we be the former demoniac standing in the back of the crowd, looking in disbelief at the scene? Is this how the life of Jesus would end? Is this what the reign of Jesus was supposed to be like?

Then, Jesus our king speaks, perhaps softly, struggling to get the words out between breaths. “Father, forgive them, they do not know what they are doing.” Jesus opens himself up, and becomes vulnerable to the point here can offer others love even though they have harmed him. One of the thieves sneers at him, thinking that Jesus must be hallucinating. Jesus must have dishonored his father long before he was hanging on the cross.

I wonder for whom Jesus asks for forgiveness. Is it just the leaders and the soldiers, who actively participated in the execution? Is it the thief who mocks him? Or, could it be the crowd? Why would the crowd need forgiveness? They had not put to death an innocent man. It was not their fault that their government had chosen to make an example of Jesus. The crowd just hoped they would not end up with a similar fate. They knew a king wouldn’t dare ask for forgiveness of people who had harmed him. If he did, he would open himself up for ridicule and rejection.
Archbishop Desmond Tutu describes the power of forgiveness as a way to provide healing and reconciliation in his native South Africa. He celebrated the Truth and Reconciliation Committee’s decision to forgive persons who perpetuated apartheid whether they expressed guilt or not. It was the Commission’s belief that only in forgiveness can people move forward in life. Tutu had forgiven the persons who had denied him jobs, paid him inadequate wages, ridiculed him, and treated him less than human . The commission’s forgiveness was universal, even though only a few people acknowledge they were guilty. Could a king ever do that?

I wonder if it was in this act of Jesus’ forgiveness that one criminal chose to believe. And really, all it took for the criminal to believe was to listen. In listening, we can allow others to be vulnerable to us. And maybe in their vulnerability, we experience love. JJ Heller, a Christian folk artist, recently came out with a song called “What Love Really Means.” In the last verse, she describes a prisoner sitting in his cold, dark cell, reflecting on his crime for probably the millionth time. Guilt surrounds him as he waits to die. He suddenly hears a voice, telling him “I know you’ve murdered, and I know you’ve lied. I’ve seen you suffer for all of your life. And now that you’re listening, I will tell you I love you for you. Not for what you have done or what you will become. I will love you for you.”

Listening. That’s the way we can be vulnerable, opening our arms in the world. And maybe being vulnerable is a part of what God’s love really means. Vulnerability that involves listening helps us understand how God views the world. Maybe when we listen, we see what it means for Jesus to be our king.
The great thing about Christ as our king is that he offers us love even though we don’t feel we need it or want it. He becomes vulnerable enough to risk hurt and rejection. Jesus is like the mother who kisses her child goodnight after he told her he hated her. The child may not even realize he needs forgiveness as he is tucked into bed. We become like Jesus when we welcome everyone to our church with a smile, despite any preconceived notions we may hold. I think our church is being like Jesus this Thanksgiving, opening our arms to our community with a free thanksgiving meal, and not knowing how they will respond or if we will ever see them again .

With Jesus as our king and guide, let us risk becoming vulnerable to the world, knowing the love of Christ can transform us and empower our ministry.

Paul D. Duke, “Calling Forth the Kingdom.” Christian Century, November 8, 1995, 1043.

JJ and Dave Heller, “What Love Really Means.” From the album When I’m with You. http://jjheller.com/article.asp?id=lovemelyrics. Accessed November 13 2010.

Christine Scheller, “How Far Should Forgiveness Go?” Christianity Today online magazine. Posted 22 October 2010. . Accessed 14 November 2010.

Beauty Amidst Heartbreak

2010-07-13T10:24:00.002-05:00

Sunday morning at 6:30 AM, Holmeswood Baptist Church's youth group arrive in Kansas City after spending a week at the Cheyenne River Indian Reservation in South Dakota. Monday through Wednesday, the youth rebuilt the pow wow grounds in Dupree, about an hour away from where we were staying. They put new boards up, painted the boards, and weed-eated grass for the pow wow that was to happen that weekend.

Thursday and Friday, the youth cleaned up and helped out around the community where we were staying. They did some painting at a woman's house; put storm windows on an elderly couple's home; cleaned up a community center; and mowed, trimmed, and cleaned up the cemetery behind the church. This makes me tired just writing it!

I'm extremely proud of our youth and their willingness to work hard and reach out to the community. They initiated conversations with persons in the community, had a positive attitude, and worked very hard. I'm sure their ministry will not be forgotten.

The Lakotas also shared much with us about prayer, respect, and living a God-filled life. Lakota churches are prominent in keeping the language alive and cultural practices intact. In the midst of poverty and depression caused by a repressive government, the Lakota people have managed to preserve their beautiful culture and history.

Inheriting the Cause

2010-06-30T15:46:00.002-05:00

Inheriting the Cause
Kate Hanch, Children’s Ministry Associate
Holmeswood Baptist Church, Kansas City, Missouri
June 27, 2010, Season After Pentecost, Proper 8
2 Kings 2:1-14

My dad just got back from his second mission trip yesterday. He was in the Dominican Republic assisting with various medical clinics. Although my dad is not in the medical field, he can do things such as count pills, some construction, and other grunt work. He had sent a couple of emails and has said the experience has changed his life. My mom and I both went on our first mission trip when I was 13. We went to New Orleans, and helped with backyard bible camps at HUD housing and served at homeless shelters, as well as sang for some nursing homes. I remember watching how she acted around the children and the people who came in to eat at the shelters. Despite New Orleans heat and humidity, she smiled at every person she met, talking with them as if with old friends. That memory continues to inspire me today.

There is a reason that two persons read the text today. The story today is about a mentoring relationship that gets broken apart when Elijah is taken up to heaven. Elisha is left with very big shoes to fill. At this time, his mentor, Elijah was pretty well known by the king for being a troublemaker. He had healed people, made a mockery of the prophets of Baal, and was fed by ravens. Elijah had done some cool stuff.

Carrie Mitchell divides this story today into several sections that help us see ourselves in this story.

The first section is inviting.
Elijah first calls Elisha in 1 Kings 19, right after he hears God’s still, small voice that Kathy had talked about last week. Elisha was a regular farmer, plowing when Elijah calls him. After saying goodbye to his parents, Elisha joins Elijah and becomes his sidekick.

Invitations are an important part of our ministry. In our church, we invite people to join us on this journey with our relationship with God. We may never know the gifts of another person until we invite them to participate. We may never know our spiritual gifts and callings until we are invited to express them. My parents were both asked to participate on these mission trips—they probably would have never gone otherwise.

As we look at our networks and friends, we should ask ourselves: who can we invite on this journey with us? What gifts do we see in others that they might not see in themselves? How have we been invited to participate in our current ministries?

Inviting people to participate with us is risky. It might require time, patience, and rejection. But the process of inviting is essential to our church, and the church as a whole. We invite because God’s love is too big for us alone. We invite because we believe that God’s grace extends to the whole world.

The second section Mitchell describes in this story is developing. The first time we hear Elisha speak after he is called by Elijah in 1 Kings 19 is in this story. What is happening between those times? During this in-between time, Elisha was probably listening and observing. He may have taken notes and mimicked Elijah’s actions and words. Who knows, he may have even messed up a few times. The journey in discipleship certainly encounters plenty of mistakes.

Being a disciple takes time and practice. Dietrich Bonhoeffer declares that “our struggle for today is costly grace. It is costly because it calls to discipleship, it is grace, because it calls us to follow Jesus Christ. It is costly because it costs people their lives; it is grace because it makes them live.”

Our baptism symbolizes a beginning in our journey with God—it is not a total transformation in one easy step. Like Elisha, we continue on that journey, but not alone. We have friends and mentors who help us and guide us along the way. How has our church helped with mentoring others? How have you been mentored by people in our church? What sacrifices should we make to listen to the call of discipleship seriously in our culture?

Thirdly, we see ourselves in the testing. Three times Elisha is reminded that his beloved mentor, Elijah is leaving. Three times Elijah pleads for Elisha to stay instead of follow him. And three more times, Elisha, despite Elijah’s command, pledges to follow him wherever he goes. Does this remind you of any other bible story?

The Gospel of John has a similar story of threes. After Jesus is resurrected, he returns to his disciples. In Chapter 21, Jesus asks Peter three times, “Do you love me?” Peter responds with an emphatic yes each of those three times. Jesus instructs Peter, after each of his responses, to go and do what Jesus would do.

The testing of Elisha can be taken in two different ways. Is Elijah testing Elisha to see if he is truly ready, or is Elijah testing Elisha to see if he’s a faithful follower?

To be honest, I’m not sure. If Elijah is testing Elisha’s faithfulness, Elisha has passed with flying colors…maybe. Or maybe Elisha could have been more attached to Elijah than to Yahweh. Many times we can get attached to certain people or certain ministries as opposed to worshipping the one true God.

If Elijah was testing if Elisha was ready, Elisha acted like he wasn’t. Perhaps he was scared. Remember, he had big shoes to fill, and I’m not sure if Elisha wanted to fill them. But then, who can blame him? Elijah had proven Yahweh as the one true God against 450 prophets of Baal. He probably was not well liked, and maybe even had some death threats.

Plus, Elisha had been a silent figure before now. We don’t know how much he practiced, or if he just observed. Being a prophet is a big deal and Elisha knew that he would never be fully prepared.

The testing of Elisha involves risk. Do we have faith that God can give us the skills when we hear God’s call? We must risk moving beyond the status quo for reaching for something that may be better, even difficult. Or both.

Parting is the fourth section that Mitchell describes in this call story. Elisha knows Elijah is going away—everyone around him continues to remind him of this. Elisha still seems surprised when Elijah is carried away by the chariots in heaven, even though he knows this will happen.

Parting is a natural stage in life. Kids leave the home, we move, we change jobs, people come in and out of our circle. Parting is necessary, however, in order to grow. Each year in seminary, I always kind of dread graduation time. I have become close to many of the students, and I know I won’t get to see them around next year. However, I am thankful as I look at their various ministries, and how they are impacting the world. In church and in our lives, we sometimes need to part with practices or habits that keep us from worshiping God as fully as we could. What are some practices in our church that we might need to part with? What are some habits in our lives that keep us from seeing God as fully as we could?

Of course, with parting, there comes the grieving. Mitchell describes this story that “knowing Elijah would be taken from him did not minimize Elisha’s grief; rather, it made his own ministry more [meaningful].” Elisha tears his robe, expressing the depths of his grief in an open and public fashion. In Elisha, we know it is okay to grieve. We don’t have to like the change we are experiencing at first. It is okay to remember things as they were used to. In fact, there is much to learn and continue to learn from the past. Things we may have not understood in the past can become much clearer.

However, we cannot stay there. Elisha was confirmed in his ministry only after Elijah had gone into heaven. As Elisha takes his mentor’s cloak, he realizes his task at hand. While he follows in Elijah’s footsteps, he makes his ministry his own. He remembers Elijah, and at the same time knows his task is not finished. The ministry of the prophets does not stop at Elijah, it continues with Elisha. In our lives, while a certain ministry may have begun with someone, it continues through us. We can move forward to worship God fully and help others do likewise through our ministries in the church. How do we claim these ministries in our context today? How can we continue what the founders of the church have started? Ministry is worship to God, so we must figure out how we want to worship God in our everyday lives.

In this story of Elijah and Elisha, no one is left off the hook. Elisha, even though he has little experience, is called to take Elijah’s cloak and do the same types of miracles Elijah performed. In our church, we believe that everyone is called into ministry, since ministry is worship. How will you join?

Feasting on the Word, Year C: Preaching the Revised Common Lectionary. Barbara Brown Taylor, and David L. Bartlett, ed. Year C, Volume 3, Season after Pentecost. Copyright 2010.

Bonhoeffer, Dietrich. The Cost of Discipleship. Copyright SCM Press, LTD, 1959. 1st Touchstone edition, 1995.

Easter and reconciliation.

2010-04-04T21:56:00.002-05:00

Christ has risen from the dead, praise the LORD!

This past Holy Week, I have been thinking about reconcilation. Jesus, through his death and resurrection, has reconciled us with God. Because Christ has conquered death and made us free, we too can be reconciled with one another.

I wonder how seriously we take that. While I do not have any perceived enemies, I have often negated other Christians through actions and speech. In doing so, I have made them my enemy--whether they knew it or not.

I believe Christians (myself included) have some major reconciling to do with one another. My own Baptist background has been marred with splits and fractions. I have been guilty of saying "well, I'm not that kind of Baptist." (Usually it is when someone asks my position on drinking and dancing, or some other minor social thing that's not Gospel related).

If we believe that Jesus' resurrection and death have allowed us to be reconciled with God, surely we must work to be reconciled with one another. For Christ came for many different types of people--Pharisees, church leaders, prostitutes, government workers. I hope, as a follower of Christ, in my speech and actions that I work toward reconcilation with others this year.

Holy, Holy Holy

2009-11-10T22:58:00.002-06:00

I've been doing some research on the Trinity for Constructive Theology. How is our theology affected by the doctrine of the Trinity? How are other doctrines shaped by our view of the Trinity? How are our lives changed because of the Trinity?

There is an aspect of the Trinity that will always remain beyond our comprehension, but many times, people are kind of scared of the Trinity.

It will be interesting to see where the research goes and hopefully it will be a transformative work.

My Calling

2009-09-24T22:19:00.003-05:00

I admit it, I've slacked on posting. The only reason I've posted now is because it was something I've already written. This was for the deacon's banquet at FBCJC a couple of weeks ago. It tells of how FBC has nurtured my calling into ministry. If I had a theme verse(s) for my calling at this point, it would probably be Romans 7:14-8:4. I know it's long, but I love that passage.

So here's the call story:

I believe that every Christian receives a calling by God. Our calling, as Fredrick Buechner describes it, is where our greatest gladness and the world’s biggest hunger meet. Our calling is not limited to our workplace only. We live out our calling in the midst of community. In the community our callings are confirmed, practiced, tested, and growing. FBC has facilitated and participated in my calling for more than 10 years. Today I wanted share our story of God’s calling in my life to vocational ministry.

After attending a neighbor’s Vacation Bible School at the age of 10, I desired to enter into a personal relationship with Jesus. A lady came to talk at our home about what it meant to follow Jesus. She, my mom, and I prayed, and I accepted Jesus as my Lord. That Sunday, at the time of decision, I went forward to my church to tell them I had made a decision to make Christ my Lord and wanted to be baptized. I remembered a keen sense of fear—a holy fear. I knew my life had changed forever. A few weeks later, I was baptized at Centertown Baptist Church.
My family became members of First Baptist that next year. First Baptist quickly became home. In middle school, I was involved in various youth activities and went on my first mission trip to New Orleans in 1998.

The mission trip to New Orleans opened my eyes to the deep needs that I, as a teenager, had been ignorant of. Rod took us to a homeless shelters where we served food and housing projects where we did Backyard Bible clubs. Our youth leaders saw the people we served as fellow children of God and treated them with kindness and dignity. I remember several of the leaders engaging in conversation with the adults of the homeless shelter, viewing them as equals. The youth leaders gave us a glimpse of Christ by breaking down boundaries and loving their neighbors.

In high school, I began to realize that I was being called into vocational ministry. During devotional times at Fellowship of Christian Athletes, I would often pick out a lesser-known book of the bible such as Jude and give a brief overview on it, and enjoyed doing so. I also began to have a prayer journal where I would write semi-regularly.

When Melissa said that some of the youth would be able to go to Belarus on a mission trip in the summer of 2001, I jumped at the opportunity. I think this was the first time that youth had been allowed to participate in an overseas mission trip, and I was eager to go. FBC supported us through prayers, advice, and financial support. Several church members allowed me to work odd jobs so I could use the money to go on the mission trip.

I think it was in Belarus that I could see myself in ministry full time. I enjoyed helping Melissa out in bible studies, and I enjoyed interacting with the Belarussian students. I remember one interpreter asked me if I thought I would come back to Belarus. I felt a sense of peace over me, as if he had realized my calling.
By my junior year, I knew God had called me to do vocational ministry. I was allowed leadership opportunities in the youth group, such as co-leading C groups and helping organize dessert theater. The church made me feel as if I had value and as if I was contributing to its mission and purpose. I entered college assured of myself and what I believed.

When I entered Missouri Baptist University in St. Louis Missouri, those convictions were tested, which allowed for deeper growth of my faith. Some students did not agree that women should be in church leadership roles. I poured over Scripture, examining the passages they had to support their claim. I also reflected upon the Holy Spirit’s guidance in my life and the Scriptures that had affirmed my calling. With the strength from the Holy Spirit and the encouragement from First Baptist, I navigated those tensions. This difficult time was a great lesson in humility. I learned that even though I did not agree with someone on theology or in doctrine, I still needed to respect that person and listen to them. Had I not allowed myself the opportunity to listen, I would have missed out on faith-building conversations. humility is a lesson that I continually need to learn

Although there were some difficulties during my college years, I was able to be exposed to different ministries—everything from scrubbing toilets to planning large events. Between my freshman and sophomore year of college, I interned at Logan Valley Christian Retreat for about two months. We worked long days: serving meals, cleaning cabins, and helping out on the ropes course. Because we were relatively isolated, during my limited free time I read through the Psalms. I began to meditate on them during difficult tasks or when I was tired. Since we were unable to attend church because we were preparing lunch for the groups, I experience worship through unconventional ways: chopping potatoes, a bike ride during a break, or even cleaning bathrooms between groups coming in.

I was blessed with the opportunity to go to Belarus again in the summer of 2006. This time, I was assisting at a Vacation Bible School in a town about the size of Jeff City called Marina Gorka. FBC played a major role in ministering alongside the Belarussians. You provided financial support for new heaters for our sister church, which was a small congregation in rural Belarus. You brought supplies for arts and crafts for the children who attended VBS. And most importantly, we felt your abundance of prayers flowing from the other side of the world.

The thing that struck me most about Marina Gorka was that there was only 1 church of about 50 members in that whole town of about 40,000. My heart broke as I realized there were thousands of people who had never heard the Gospel. However, the Belarussians remained hopeful. They were eager to train young people to be ministers in that community and had a passion for spreading the Gospel. Their passion for reaching the lost and spreading the good news wore off on me.

That September following our mission trip to Belarus, I began to co-lead a small group at the Journey Church for about a year. At first, this was intimidating, as I was the youngest one in the group and everyone else was mostly young professionals. They were very gracious and forgiving, and I was able to practice ministry in a safe environment. The Journey Church allowed opportunities for lay leader growth, which I eagerly participated in.

That same year, I was blessed to work as an assistant to the Student Activities director. I got to interact with a wide variety of people including faculty and staff as well as students. Since we had an open door policy in our office, I was able to interact with and become close to many people. I interacted with students who worked on-campus doing maintenance. I had theological discussions with the security guards. I got to plan and lead major events such as Welcome Weekend and Homecoming. I grew as a leader and as a minister and had a blast.

During my final semester, religion students were required to do an internship. Since internships at the Journey Church where I led a bible study required a year long commitment, I decided to look at a para church organization. Thankfully, Refuge of Nations graciously accepted me as an intern for five months. Refuge of Nations is a ministry in St. Louis that seeks spread the Gospel through mentoring relationships with refugees and immigrants. I encountered people from Liberia, Mexico, Iraq, and Bosnia. Much of the ministry I did was at a practical level. I would take people to the grocery store or to English lessons. I also prepared a mass mailing for fundraising. At times it was frustrating with communication barriers and the weight of the need. However, I was also blessed to build relationships with people. One woman wanted us to come over and offer her some encouragement and prayer. She was a refugee from Liberia and worked overnights at a casino far from her home. She had some sickness and was worried about her job. After another intern and I prayed with her, we began to talk about her life. She said that although she had attended church regularly growing up, she entered into a relationship with Christ after she saw her husband murdered. She fled to the Ivory Coast and eventually was able to come to the United States. Her bravery and devotion to God despite her adversity ministered to me more than I could have ministered to her.

All of these experiences, along with the prompting of the Holy Spirit, gave me assurance to come before FBC one Sunday morning and declare my intentions for vocational ministry. Although I should have done it before I even entered college, you accepted my call graciously and affirmed me in that calling. Standing up there, I felt that presence of Holy fear that was present at Centertown Baptist Church when I had declared my decision to follow Christ. This holy fear humbled me, as I realized God’s call for me to serve.

God called me to Central Baptist Seminary. I had never even visited the campus before orientation. I did receive a scholarship through CBF which allowed me to not have to take out loans. On my first day of class, I knew I was where I was supposed to be. I loved the class discussions and the small class sizes. That first year, I commuted from Jeff City. It was wonderful being back home at FBC, and I got to participate in leading small groups for both youth and adults.

That following August, I got married and moved to Kansas City. My husband Steve , a lifetime St. Louisian, saw my calling as our calling and made the move so we would not have to commute.

We are now members of Holmeswood Baptist Church in south Kansas City and are leading the young adult bible fellowship group. To be honest, there has been some hard times the past two years. Seminary can be spiritually taxing—I am not only memorizing the material, but trying to integrate it my spiritual walk. I also work part time at an non-profit organization that provides free legal services for low income people. I struggle with balancing school, family, church, and work. The Holy Spirit’s call on my life continues to sustain me despite my struggles and failures. God willing, I plan on graduating with my Masters in Divinity in May of 2011. We are discerning where God is calling us next (hopefully it's a Ph.D. program, God willing)

I think God is calling me to minister to the forgotten people. I have felt the Holy Spirit working in me and despite me when I have engaged with forgotten people, whether they come in the form of refugees or maintenance workers. This passion has extended into my studies. For example, in my Caring Ministries class I wrote a paper about ministering to people who are unable to come to church regularly because of their jobs. This included a wide range of people, from fast food workers to doctors. Ministering to the forgotten people is where my deepest gladness and the world’s deepest hunger meet. It is my calling. Where it leads, only God knows.

But it is not just my calling, it is our calling. Each of you has participated in my journey to vocational ministry. You drove church buses for various youth events. You encouraged and supported youth to participate in worship. You wrote encouraging notes and have uplifted me with kind words. You have been patient when I have struggled. You have given me books. Your financial support allowed me to go on mission trips and your ministry to CBF has helped me get through seminary. Most importantly, you have prayed and continue to pray. Without First Baptist, I do not think I would have recognized God’s calling me into vocational ministry. THANK YOU

it's been a while

2009-07-18T16:37:00.002-05:00

I've fallen off the radar when it comes to blogging. I don't have time to do it now, so here's a couple of short sentences that describe what's going on:
~we're moving 5 miles away in about a month. Looking forward to it--especially having a specified study area. also looking forward to having people over
~i'm a big fan of summer. but who isn't? got to go to TX, Table Rock Lake with the fam, & will be going to Lake of the Ozarks with some friends have a lake house.

That's all for now!

Loneliness continued

2009-03-23T23:13:00.003-05:00

As I mentioned before, I'm doing a paper on loneliness. Some of my questions are: who are the lonely? What makes people lonely? What do lonely people do about their loneliness? What are our churches doing about our loneliness?

Here's some issues I'm dealing with:
Identifying loneliness (can it ever be truly defined?)
Who is lonely (pretty much everyone at some point or another. Groups that include signficant loneliness include stay at home parents, the developmentally disabled, elderly widows/widowers, people who are unable to be involved in social networks because of socieoeconomic status)
When do we feel alone? (after a big move, after the loss of a significant friend/other)
What does the Bible have to say about loneliness (I'll look at Psalms and Jesus' crucifixion with the famous words of "My God, My God, Why have you forsaken me?")
What can our churches do about it (small groups, intentional reaching out and transcending barriers)
Where is God in our loneliness? (here, I want to address the issue of solitude as a spiritual practice)

When we moved to KC after we got married, I dealt with loneliness. Steve and I have conflicting work schedules, and we spend time by ourselves. Although homework has kept me occupied for a majority of the time, it can be lonely.

So how have I dealt with it? Sometimes I watch TV (not a good option. I read somewhere where people who watch more TV tend to be unhappier than people who watch less). Sometimes I exercise (this weekend was good for that). I get my ipod geared toward some good music, and enjoy God's creation. Other actions to alleviate loneliness are getting involved in a small group at church (I'm a big fan of those), reaching out to a coworker who may be down, call an old friend, or get involved in service projects. Sometimes, it's good to be alone and listen to God's voice. FOr me, I'm constantly struggling with being patient enough to listen.

When have you felt lonely? What do you do about it? How is God present in your loneliness?

Loneliness

2009-03-16T11:54:00.002-05:00

I'm doing a paper in pastoral counseling on Loneliness and how the church can help. I think everyone, at some point or another, has been lonely. Here's a quote from Mother Theresa that sums it up:

"When Christ said: "I was hungry and you fed me," he didn't mean only the hunger for bread and for food; he also meant the hunger to be loved. Jesus himself experienced this loneliness. He came amongst his own and his own received him not, and it hurt him then and it has kept on hurting him. The same hunger, the same loneliness, the same having no one to be accepted by and to be loved and wanted by. Every human being in that case resembles Christ in his loneliness; and that is the hardest part, that's real hunger."

I'm exploring several questions: Do our churches address loneliness? If so, how? Who are some people that are most suspectible to loneliness? How do we reach out and minister to them?

Hopefully, this will connect with last year's paper of Caring for Christians who are Unable to Attend Corporate Worship Because of Vocational Calling/Committment/Limitation. Perhaps people who can't attend corporate worship are especially vulnerable to loneliness and feel as if they are outsiders, often due to no fault of their own. Furthermore, if they are among the blue collar workers who have to work on Sundays to support their families, they may feel additional economic alienation from people who have weekday jobs and perhaps higher incomes.

Feelings of loneliness are common, but also allow for us to rely on God. Even though we feel lonely, we are never truly alone (I think I got that from Doyle). Loneliness is inevitable, but at the same time is a blessing to see God in a new light.

question

2009-03-12T22:48:00.002-05:00

What would a church look like if it intentionally ministered to and reached out to people who had to work on Sundays? (Airport personnel, Fast food workers, Nurses, Gas station workers, etc). How would this happen?

Mini Vacation/conference

2009-03-01T20:02:00.005-06:00

Steve and I went to Orlando last week for a conference and to see my friend Lindsey. I must say, though, I had more fun on the beach than at the conference (no offense to Brian McLaren or any of the other speakers). The conference was good, but I felt out of place. So last week, I was doing this:

(At a restaurant at New Smyrna Beach. We couldn't resist)

(new Smyrna Beach on Sunday--before the conference)

Needless to say, we got back on Thursday, and on Friday night/Saturday morning, we got 6 inches of snow. Talk about change!

Losing a bet, watching Rambo, and seeing God

2009-02-08T19:44:00.003-06:00

Steve and I had a Super Bowl bet. His team won, so I had to watch a movie of his choice (without falling asleep, which I have been known to do) as well as make him a dinner he likes. I had just gotten off of work, so he did most of the cooking (chicken fingers and fries in a deep fryer he got for Christmas). We watched the most recent Rambo movie. I had never seen a Rambo movie at all, but he's got the whole collection with special features.

The most recent Rambo movie takes place in Burma. I've mentioned Burma before, particularly in its horrible treatment of Christians and minorities. My seminary has a partnership with a school over there, and I would like to visit sometime.

Steve and I also watched the special features in Rambo. One feature chronicles the horrible situation in Burma. Sylvester Stallone said that he actually had to tone down the violence in the movie from what was actually being depicted in real life (which, for Rambo, is saying a lot). Another person on the feature said that the situation in Burma was worse than in Darfur, with the taking of boys as child soliders, raping of the women, and burning of entire villages. The military junta (the government) spends about 40% on the military with no external enemies.

It's a very interesting movie if you can handle the violence. Props to Stallone for bringing this unknown issue into light. There are also some Christian references in the movie that are pretty neutral.

Please pray for our Burmese brothers and sisters.

"No man is an island, entire of itself...any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind; and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.” -John Donne

things I'm looking forward to this semester

2009-02-03T21:17:00.004-06:00

1. going to Orlando for conference for CBF young leaders and to see a friend. This will happen in about 3 weeks (not that I'm excited or anything). It will be over Steve's birthday.
2. Winter turning into Spring. I'm sick of the cold.
3. translating various parts of the NT in Greek, and using it in personal study and meditation.
4. Actually exploring KC and actually visiting the Crown Center and the Plaza
5. Learning how to counsel in Pastoral Counseling (I've got a long way to go)
6. Finding a good tasting but not too expensive Chinese restaurant (and Mexican as well)
7. Perhaps finally finding kitchen chairs for our table.
8. Putting wedding photos in an album (Ok, that will probably wait until summer)
9. Planning a camping trip with Steve (the actual trip itself will have to wait this summer)
10. Seeing both my siblings graduate, although only attending one graduation (they graduate on the same day, 4 hours apart).
11. being halfway done with school

Since I was tagged.....

2009-01-20T20:23:00.004-06:00

I was tagged by my friend Hannah Banana, and haven't written in a while, so what better than to start off with silly random facts? :) Here they are:

Rules:Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.(To do this, go to "notes" under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your 25 random things, tag 25 people (in the right hand corner of the app) then click publish.)

1. I plan on(God willing, of course) getting my doctorate. I haven't decided though, between Ph.D. or D.Min or Th.D.

2. Steve and I had our first date at Dairy Queen. Although, at the time we were "hanging out"

3. I've named every car that I've had. I'm tenatively calling this one "the silver bullet". Names mean character

4. I want to go to every continent except Antarctica. I want to travel a lot, even visit the South Pacific.

5. I used to play piano

6. After going without a radio in my car for 6 months, I'm amazed that, well, how a lot of Christian music sounds similar (there are good songs out there, though). Steve should produce a good quality (both musically and theologically) heavy metal Christian CD

7. Even though I'm frustated with the monotony of Christian music, I still listen to it the most. In the past, I gave up "secular" music for Lent. Only classical, Christian, and Disney music. (Disney allows for the fun and humor)

8. I hate trying on shoes and buying shoes and, in the summer, wearing shoes

9. My sister in the wicked witch in the Wizard of Oz in her play at Lindenwood. If you are in the STL area, be sure to check her out. Best actress ever!

10. We plan on naming our first dog "Sir Poops a Lot" or, if it's a girl "Lady Poops a lot"

11. I yell at football games more than Steve. We're rooting for different teams at the Super Bowl. What can I say, I root for the underdog

12. I need to work on my study habits

13. I miss my STL friends

14. I like to color and act like a kid

15. I'm more of a summer girl than a winter one.

16. I'm growing my hair for locks of love....and only have a couple of more inches!

17. I like some Adam Sandler movies, but not all of them. I do like weird comedy

18. We have a kitchen table and no chairs. And it's been a while like that. Thank goodness for camping chairs

19. the only stuffed animal we have in our apartment is an orange cow that our friends Jeni and Trevor gave to us when we moved in

20. I am from one of 3 state capitols in the nation with no interstates running through it

21. I've been craving a frappacino, even though it's been cold. Good thing our budget keeps me from caving in.

22. My high school mascot was fictional. There is no such thing as a red Jaybird.

23. My brother and sister are twins, but they look nothing alike. Some say I look like a mixture between them

24. Steve didn't tell me where we were going on the honeymoon until two weeks beforehand

25. I can't shuffle cards or snap my fingers

What I like about Seminary

2008-12-08T20:39:00.004-06:00

Here it is: Professors and staff playing frisbee golf inside the main building. The prize? A gift certificate to Borders. Talk about a perfect way to relieve finals stress.

One more week and I am done for the semester. Praise God!!

Edit to my Christmas song post.

2008-11-24T18:47:00.003-06:00

My sister graciously reminded me of the song "The Hat I got for Christmas is too Beeg [big]" that should have made the top 5 list. It has a Latin melody with a singer that has a latin accent. For some reason, this song reminds me of my parents' cat Seymore. I can see him wearing a sombrero and singing this song.

You'll have to forgive me. I stayed up late last night finishing a paper, and needless to say, am a little loopy.

Here's to you Seymour the cat!

Top 5 Christmas songs

2008-11-16T19:47:00.004-06:00

I have a love-hate relationship with Christmas. I like Christmas songs, but hate commercialization. I like Christmas parties and being off school, but hate making Christmas lists. I like the birth of Christ, but hate shopping for Christmas gifts. I almost adopted a bah-humbug attitude several times, and am trying not to do that this year. Truth be told though, I'm not so keen about having a Christmas tree. And really, with a one-bedroom apartment, who needs one?

I do like probably 70% of Christmas songs (except the little drummer boy--can't stand that one!), with the exception of some extra cheesy songs. Here, I would like to say, are my top 5 favorite Christmas songs:

1. Baby It's Cold Outside. Not neccessarily a Christmas song, but fun enough in and of itself. It doesn't talk about Jesus, but sure makes me crave hot chocolate and blankets.

2. Christmas Eve Sarajevo by Trans Siberian Orchestra. It's just a cool song. I would like to go to a concert to see them with Steve sometimes. (When it's not around Christmas, they are a heavy metal band called Savatage. Steve likes heavy metal. It would be probably the only concert we could go to together and both be happy.)

3. O Holy Night. I love praying the words of this song. Absolutely beautiful, a song about redemption and praise.

4. While You were Sleeping by Casting Crowns.

5. Handel's Messiah. The whole thing.

Vetran's Day

2008-11-11T17:07:00.002-06:00

Just reminding you to thank a vetran! I'm going to see my grandparents. My grandpa is a WWII vet. He flew (wasn't a pilot, but a gunner) planes over the South Pacific. After watching that PBS special last year on WWII, I was amazed.

Also, an estimated 1/3 of the homeless are vetrans. There are many ways to thank a vetran, and ministering to the homeless is one of them.

facebook, seminary, and marriage

2008-11-10T22:33:00.003-06:00

The semester is in full gear, so the posts might be fewer and fewer in between (it's not like I posted a lot anyway).

5k:
The 5k training isn't going as well as I had planned, but Steve and I got some cold weather running gear (aka swishy pants at Walmart) so I am good to go. I do need a cheapo headband thing for my ears. I'm going to try to run in the morning, except for a couple of days.

Seminary:
I had mentioned a project that I was going to do before called "caring for people who aren't able to go to Sunday morning worship because they have jobs". I know it's along title, but I haven't figured out a way to shorten it appropriately. Basically, it addresses how one can be a part of the church community if he/she is unable to come Sunday mornings.

I figured out about 20 or 30 jobs that people have that would inhibit them sometimes or most times to be unable to come to church. Oftentimes, people have no choice (such as doctors, police officers, etc). For others, their job is the primary source of income (retail positions, nurses, emergency personnel).

To connect people who are unable to come to church to church body, there are some options. Facebook could be a popular one. Making sure sermons and worship services are recorded is another. Of course, small groups remain a popular choice.

I'm really excited about this because I see a real need for ministering to those who don't work 8-5 Mon.-Fri. If we only minister to the 8-5 crowd, what does that say about our churches? and who attends them?

In hermeneutics, I used a phrase from the rapper FLAME (who also attended my alma mater, btw) on my test. I'm also writing a paper on Jer. 7.1-15.

In other seminary news, I really like being in community. Most people who attend my seminary are either going back to school after being in another career or are attending while pastoring a church. There is so much to learn from these individuals, and it's a very humbling experience. I enjoy our seminary and our community.
Work:
Is good, I actually don't mind working downtown. the hours are good, the pay is good, and I get good healthcare. Which saves us $$ since I don't have to be on Steve's plan.

Marriage:
is great. Steve is better than I deserve.

Spiritual Life:
Thank goodness God is a God of grace. I feel like Paul in Romans 7-8. Enough said.

Well, to put it bugs bunny style, "That's all folks"

why I like voting

2008-11-04T10:46:00.003-06:00

Steve and I live directly accross the polling place. We got up early (5:45), got dressed, and walked across the street to go vote about 5:55. We ended up standing in line for about an hour and a half. When we got out, there was no line. I guess it's better to be safe than sorry. Afterwards, we walked about a mile, got some breakfast, and went back.

The cool thing about voting is that you don't talk about politics while standing in line. Sure, you share a common enthusiasm and excitement with others in line. But if you're smart, you don't share how you're voting.

This is refreshing because we are focusing on things we have in common. When we vote, we are proud to be Americans. The voting process fuels a patriotic spirit that is shared across different viewpoints and party lines. No one is really hateful when standing in line to vote.

So now, here is a prayer for our election:

Dear LORD, we pray for our country today. We pray that Your will be done. We pray for our leaders, that they may lead with discernment and wisdom with regard to Your best interests. We pray for our election workers, that they may have strength for a long day. We ask for discernment for voters as they head to the polls. God, we know our earthly dwelling is temporary, and let us keep heaven in mind today. In the name of Your Son, Jesus Christ, in whom we live, move, and have our being. Amen

on the road again.....

2008-10-30T20:07:00.002-05:00

I signed up for my first 5k in 2 years. It will take place in late January in the KC area. I bought my first pair of new balance shoes (i've been pretty faithful to nike). Paying to race in a 5k (it goes to charity) will motivate me to train--that and I just bought the biggest sized pants in my life. (much of my old pants were kind of stolen, it's a long story, way too long for this post). anyways, my goal is to finish the race without walking. I know it's a very small goal compared to the high school days, but I got to do what I got to do. So far, my knee isn't acting up too much--much ice and ibuprofen might be needed.

uh oh

2008-10-05T21:38:00.001-05:00

one of the jobs I'm applying for has a quota of 60 wpm for typing.

I am at the brink--sometimes over, sometimes under.

Please pray for me--I am practicing (along with studying for midterm).

What are some good ideas to speed up your typing speed?

Politics and Jesus

2008-10-03T18:54:00.003-05:00

I found a link on Christianity Today that echoed my feelings about the political times we are in--it's called Tempted by Politics. It explains the danger of ministers endorsing candidates.

As one who aspires to be in vocational ministry, I do not publicly share my views on politics. While pastors and other ministry leaders can encourage other Christians to vote wisely and with discernment, they need not tell them who to vote for.

Here's a couple of Christian reasons that religious authority figures should not endorse candidates:

The priesthood of the believer. Every Christian can directly access God without a mediator (aka religious authority). Every Christian can also follow the Holy Spirit's guidance in discerning for whom to vote.

Each candidate is a human--each candidate is messed up. We cannot vote for a flawless candidate that follows Scripture 100 % of the time. Unless of course, Jesus was running for president. Last time I checked, Jesus wasn't running.

Christian Leaders are not compromising their Christian beliefs when they refuse to publicly support a candidate. They are trusting the power of the Holy Spirit in a Christian individual's life to guide them. Not supporting a candidate, platform, or party is an act of faith, not of cowardice.

The political process is tricky, overwhelming, frustrating and exhausting. I will be praying for our nation during this time--that we not isolate one another or become hateful toward one another in our political differences and that our decision will be one that is best for our nation and the world.

Thanks for letting me rant. In other news, midterms are coming up, and their are some specks on the job horizon. I'm praying....:) God is faithful, thankfully, when I am not.

wow!

2008-09-29T23:28:00.002-05:00

So midterms are next week. Can you believe it?
I'm taking Greek. This go around, there are 5 case endings for nouns. It sure beats 8!

I'm still looking for a job. It's not fun. It's very frustrating. However, it's nice having time to get homework done.

I'm working on a paper for my caring ministries of the church. I'm concerned about how to care for people who, for some reason or another, cannot make it to Sunday worship because of job situations. Many people who work in the medical field, public service, and retail are not able to participate in worship and may feel (and be) isolated from the larger church community as a whole. People who pinpoint the bulk of church activities to Sunday may marginalize a large portion of working Christians.

I'm combining several ideas into one for the project: an online community for the local church (similar to facebook, but on a more local and personal level); small groups; mentoring, discipleship, childcare, etc.

any thoughts on this topic would be appreciated, thank you and God bless!

post wedding life

2008-08-22T12:25:00.005-05:00

is ok, I start school on Monday. We just got internet yesterday so I have been job/church hunting. We welcome any suggestions :)

We have some pictures posted on facebook. If you would like to look, just let me know!
My favorite part of planning the wedding was the ceremony. I think that's the ministry side coming out. My least favorite part was not getting to talk to everyone as long as I wished. We were so blessed to have our family and friends (some who traveled all the way from Austin TX, Iowa, St. Louis, Maryville, and Branson for our wedding).
Thanks to the flower crew, the flowers were perfect after almost a near disaster. God however, provided, and our flowers were better than I imagined!
for now, here is a pic of the flowers.

I know you're not supposed to cry before the wedding even starts (we were at the back of the church waiting to go out), but thats ok. Kailey did a lot with my bouquet! :)

All in all though, it's not about the wedding, it's about the marriage. Steve is awesome and better than I deserve. We plan on celebrating our 75th wedding anniversary so we'd better stay healthy.

only a few more days

2008-07-28T12:33:00.003-05:00

until Steve & I will never have to be a long distance couple again! :)

My church, family, and friends (winks to flower crew) for being better friends than I deserve!

I'm starting to practice Kate Hanch like "ranch" with an "h"

For a new TV show, see "Steve & Kate plus 13: Welcome to the Hanch Ranch"

it has been a while...

2008-07-15T13:10:00.002-05:00

because wedding plans are in full gear. Please be praying that everything goes ok, and for our relationship as we navigate the last couple of weeks of being a long distance couple. I love Steve, he is better than I deserve. Please pray that our relationship reflects Christ.

We have awesome family and friends who are loving, generous and wonderful. They are absolutely incredible

events and updates

2008-07-07T23:14:00.002-05:00

the wedding is quickly approaching. hooray!

Between then and now, all of my weekends are jam-packed: 2 weddings, 2 baby showers, 1 bridal shower, and a b-day celebration. makes me tired just thinking about it.

we found an apartment in south KC. I"m beginning to devise a plan on how to move.

leaning on Proverbs 3--the "trust in the LORD" passage, for this stressful time of life

oh yeah, and I had an awesome 4th of July with 2 very good friends--it has been a while since I laughed that hard!

we will start looking for a church (and I will be looking for a PT job) in the south KC area. Any ideas?

the call: part one

2008-07-02T20:17:00.003-05:00

So I figured that since we are getting married and relocating so I can go to school, I can at least explain why we feel the need to relocate.

Ok, it starts at about age 10, when I became curious about who Christ was and after some talking and thinking, accepted him into my life. The questioning was sparked after I attended a VBS. A few weeks later, I was baptized in the little country church that my dad and grandparents were baptized in.

My pastor at my church in STL stresses that salvation is something God does to you, and not the other way around. My life is evidence of that saying. My growth as a CHristian has been at a slug-like place. Nevertheless, I am still loved.

fast forward a few years: 2001 (I was 16) I got to go on a mission trip to Belarus, a country between Russia and Poland and part of the USSR. We went to a youth camp. I basically helped out my youth minister lead some activities, as well as engaged in various activities, bible study, songs, with the students. There, one of the interpreters asked if I had planned on coming back to Belarus. It just hit me: I knew that I was going to, but without a practical explanation. And the calling to vocational ministry started there.....

engagement pics are in!

2008-06-25T09:29:00.003-05:00

Hi all! If you would like to look at engagement pics of Steve and I, go to lisahesselphotography.com. Click on client proofing, and there will be one that says "Steve and Kate". I hope you all enjoy them, I think they are pretty cool. Thanks Lisa.

It had rained 5 minutes before we got there, and I was worried that it wasn't going to happen. Thankfully, it let up, and we did the shots quickly. Steve and I had gotten dinner afterwards, and as we were leaving, it fell into a downpour. Talk about good timing!

2008-06-23T23:23:00.003-05:00

I made it back from Memphis, with a few more friends along the way. It was my longest solo drive, clocking in at a little more than 6 hours. The only thing I would have done differently would be to go to the Civil rights museum and graceland. Memphis has a nice downtown area, with affordable transportation via the trolley, a beautiful riverwalk, and cool fountains that children were playing in. I listened to discussions about human trafficking in the Netherlands, mental illnesses and the church, border ministries, and new church starts, as well as learning about the transition from full time seminary to full time ministry (which is honestly quite difficult).

Wouldn't it be cool if I could get our pastor to do this at our wedding? This is by far my favorite part of the movie.

I'm going to St. Louis this weekend to spend quality time with Steve (it has been rare as of late) as well as attend the journey in West County (my church when I lived in STL). I figure that will be my last Sunday in STL before we get hitched, and then who knows when we'll get up there again.

good wedding songs

2008-06-16T23:33:00.009-05:00

Songs that have been mulling in my head that are good songs for an upcoming wedding.

Of course, the usual sappy stuff.
Lost in this moment, or, try the acoustic version by the original songwriter
Don't Want to Miss a Thing

Come What May
or, an older song:
When I Fall in Love

Don't Know Much

Come Away With Me

a couple of Christian love songs:
When God Made you, He must have been Thinking about me

There is Love

And here are some fun ones:
Accidentally in Love
At the Beginning With You
You've Got a Friend in Me
So This is Love

A Whole New World--from Aladdin

I want to grow old with you -- from one of my favorite movies of all time

Once upon a dream--I'll tell you more about this one post wedding.

Well, I guess thats it. I'm off to Memphis for a CBF gathering, and will let you know how it went. Thanks for letting me ramble on wedding stuff. I admit, it's kind of fun to get wrapped up in the giddiness/sappiness/romance surrounding the wedding.

Speaking of weddings, the first pic above is the last wedding we went to in May 2008. The pic below is the first wedding we went to in April 2006. We are attending 2 more weddings this summer before our own. At least we can say we have an idea of what goes on!

guess what?

2008-06-09T22:10:00.002-05:00

I told myself that if I got a certain GPA that I would treat myself to a masssage. I've never had one, and after a rough year, I certainly could use one. I set the limit at 3.5--and I got a 3.85!! I want to get one with my mom--I think it would be fun (and I know she could use one too!) I know it costs money, but I talked to Steve about it and he okayed it, and I am good to go! I just need to find a place to get one. Hmmmm

hello

2008-06-03T22:15:00.002-05:00

I finished with finals, I finished with the sermon (God does work miracles, as I can attest), I'm focused on wedding planning...kind of. still haven't gotten the invites in or anything. they are ordered, though.

I have not or will not diet for the wedding. Would it be nice to be a perfect size 6? of course. would it mess up alterations and dress sizing? of course as well. will Steve think of me any less because I am a size bigger than when we first started dating? Heck no. I do enjoy the thought of exercising more now that finals are out of the way, and I did walk tonight.

I also am going to try and never use the d-word (diet) again. Or, the f-word (it only has 3 letters, the next 2 are at). Steve gets mad at me when I say that I am the f-word, and it's me succoming into culture rather than just accepting who I am.

Psalm 139
My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
16 your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to [b] me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them!
18 Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand. When I awake, I am still with you.

absent

2008-05-09T19:30:00.002-05:00

I've been absent because of finals, which are next monday and tuesday. however, my sis and mom got cute little invitations to my wedding shower that our church is throwing! they were very cute invitations, and I'm really looking forward to it. hwoever, first I'm praying through finals and preaching on June 1st

all I can say is......

2008-04-25T08:15:00.000-05:00

I must be crazy

the real "What kind of bride are you?" quiz

2008-04-16T20:34:00.004-05:00

so facebook does some silly quizzes predicting that you'll be a modern bride, romantic bride, etc. I haven't taken one, but I can tell it's not very realistic. Here are some real-life example brides:

The "hi I'm engaged bride". I stole that phrase from a young woman who worked at MBU. the "hi I'm engaged bride"'s whole conversation is about the wedding, herself, and her fiance. When she waves, it's with her left hand.

Or, there's the "already have everything planned in the first week" bride. she's been planning for months before her engagement, and knows exactly what she wants. she spends the months leading up to her wedding making sure every detail is perfect.

And yes, there's the pushover bride. She wants to be a people pleaser, and may let people walk over her. she picks her colors and things on what other people may think, and wants to be the least of an inconvienence to everyone.

of course, there's the "procrastinator bride". 3 months before the wedding, she might start thinking about invitations. you can't blame her though. she's got a million other things going on.

Truth be told, I've been all of these brides at some point or another. I've procrastinated, I'm a pushover, and I knew what bouquet I wanted the first week I was engaged. (it has stargazers, by the way), and I've flaunted my wedding.

And while I'm worrying about this stuff, there are people hurting. Our wedding is not that big of a deal compared to the world's issues

updates

2008-04-03T20:57:00.002-05:00

I feel like I'm always doing quick updates. but with the time factor, that's ok. I'm:

~preaching June 1st and have the text picked out. I want to preach Doyle-style (by memory). we'll see.

~still working on my paper on pornography. I want to develop a resource list for those seeking help, as well as provide practical tips on how to avoid temptations to view pornography. I will probably be very strict toward the subject, but at the same time wanting to show that Christ can conqueror all.

~talking to Steve.

~tired.

pornography

2008-03-20T12:59:00.002-05:00

That's what I'm doing a paper about for adult spiritual formation. Several statistics and readings shocked me, and it is the silent epidemic that is keeping people from authentic relationship with God and one another. I was saddened to learn:

70% of young men have viewed pornography in the past month

Pornography is a $10 billion dollar industry

Pornography is never mentioned in most churches.

There are few, if any programs that address pornography.

Pornography users, even occasional ones, are more likely to succumb to sexual addiction.

Pastors and missionaries, who often work alone and independently, are suceptible to viewing pornography.

In my state alone, there are about 15,000 people who view child pornography. In my area alone, there are estimates of 700.

Let's get off our butts and pray.

quick updates

2008-03-13T20:32:00.002-05:00

-next week is reading week. at least seminary is honest enough not to call it spring break.

-I got a better-than-expected grade on a paper.

-Tuesday is my first free day/no alarm day in about a month and a half. I am more than ready.

-wedding plans are....not coming along with school. perhaps i can get some stuff done this week. (can we say, overrated?) Steve and I are pretty good about not making wedding plans a bigger priority than spending time with each other.

-despite me just complaining about wedding planning, i did get excited when bridesmaid dresses came in. They are pretty and unique, but not too unique to be weird. :)

-Fasting from facebook has made me somewhat more productive.

-we are still praying that Steve can get a job in this area. feel free to join in praying if you want. We'd really appreciate it. Thanks!

-I write sloppy and haphazardly on here to make up for all those other papers I don't get to. I don't apologize either.

-I have the best fiance in the world. Nuff' said.

theology is a lot like tightrope walking

2008-02-28T22:40:00.003-06:00

well, it is. sometimes our minds limit God's person so that we see God in one light, but fail to see God in the other light. Christian theology is a lot like tightrope walking.

I promised myself that if I got a 3.5 this semester, I would go to the beauty school for a massage. I've never got one of those before, so between school and before the wedding would be a good time, don't you think? If I get a 4.0, I might get a massage at a real salon. There can be miracles, if you believe (singing in a Mariah Carey voice). I get knots in my back when I'm stressed from unconciously being tense and worrying. I need to pray to God more about that.

my parents and one set of grandparents left to go to Costa Rica to see my sis. My sis seems to be having a ball in the warm weather and beautiful country. She met the Costa Rican President Arias, who also is a Nobel Peace Prize winner for stopping the war between Nicarauga and El Salvador. As for me, I threatened to come down in a suitcase, but didn't. instead, I'm trying not to break the 10th commandment, as she has been nursing sunburns and walking by the beach.
that's all for now, back to the books/papers

now, isn't this guy the most handsome that you've ever seen? the flowers were my valentines day present.

2008-02-21T20:56:00.002-06:00

here's some excerpts of this week:

~From an New Testament paper:

"The dialectical interchange allows for the multiplicity of options to coexist. "

sometimes I don't understand what I'm writing, but gosh darn it, it sounds good.

~learning the pastoral part of pastoral ministry

~realizing more that I"m called to vocational ministry, not banking, despite the fact that I kind of like the banking job.

~Steve's birthday is on Saturday! His last birthday as a single man. He is far better than I deserve, and is incredible.

~

not much time

2008-02-15T11:41:00.002-06:00

not much time to update, but I just wanted to show how my brother is the next youtube star. For our music minister's 10 year anniversary, my brother and another friend put together a stellar video--here it is.
Steve also sent me some roses for Valentine's Day, My Valentine's Day was extended this year. Yesterday, a cool friend/seminary peer and I dined at Red Lobster. We were going to try to do homework while waiting for a table but decided to laugh instead. We really like cheddar bay biscuits and fried food. Tonight, Steve and I are going on a date. Steve can't waithbecause it's with kate. He's never late, as he has found his mate. You probably think this poem isn't very great, so I'll stop

life updates

2008-02-05T22:48:00.000-06:00

I've hit the ground running for 2nd semester. It's going to be a tough one. Some of the readings, especially those on developmental theories and pyschology, are very difficult to comprehend. It's a lot of work too. I probably shouldn't even be writing right now. I'm working on self confidence this semester, rather a confidence that comes from God. Sometimes I feel there's so much junk (internal and external) barring me from ministry in the fullest sense. Sometimes I feel like the prodigal But I'm still fighting, ever so slowly. I'm still in the race.

Since seminary started commuting has been interesting with this messed up midwest weather. I think I passed by at least 2 wrecks coming home, and fog and wet weather made me feel like I was going on a dangerous adventure. Nothing like fear of hydroplaining waking you up for an 8 am class. :)

Thought for now: many people forget to pray for/be burdened for post-Christian nations. I had a friend who went to Norway to see some distant relatives. Their response on the question of faith and religion: "We're just not religiously bent/inclined people."

Too bad it's not neccessarily about just the religion part. There's so much complexity, yet so much simplicity surrouding the Gospel.

Oh crud..

2008-01-23T22:37:00.000-06:00

I was going to go to St. Louis tommorow, but opted to wait until Saturday. That way, I get to spend more time with Steve, and maybe get to see a few friends as well. I wanted to go up and visit before school started, and it is hard to get away with church obligations and what not. Since I'm off on Saturday, I thought it would be an opportune time. It's been kind of rough moving away, especially since my close friendships were formed while in college, even though some of those friends have moved away.

In other news, I'm officially cool since Steve got me an ipod nano (the new kinds!) for Christmas. It was something I wanted for a long time but was too cheap to buy it for myself. I've used it for working out, although I prefer the traditional headphones to that of the ear buds (they tend to fall out, and I tend to look stupid). I can't wait to use it when I drive back and forth from KC. I'll catch up on journey sermons, maybe a few piper sermons thrown here and there, and who knows what else--maybe a podcast?

I'm pretty excited about the "It's Time" missional book study we are doing. I have a couple of supplemental books. the word "missional" has become a hit word in Christian circles, although we were supposed to be doing it all along. I'm excited about leading it, I've already made lots of notes!

Do you ever get that convicted feeling that makes you go "oh crud." In your mind you don't want to admit it's true, but your attitude is evidence of it. I got that feeling today. I was reading Christianity Today online (yes, it's pretty much the only magazine I read online and read at all). The article was on discipleship. The author, Erwin McManus, talks about how discipleship is fueled by loving church community ethos. With that ethos comes humilty and gratitude. McManus claims "You can trust the heart of a person who isn't too good for any job."

I guess I don't need to explain myself anymore.

Over Break

2008-01-21T22:18:00.000-06:00

So I haven't done much over my break in terms of reading seminary books. I'm semi-ok with that, considering we didn't have a syllabus and it wasn't required, and I wasn't sure how much of what we would read.

Steve and I started registering for wedding stuff. I was wondering if it might be too soon, but maybe not. We don't know where we are living, so we can't really pick out anything with color (ie bathroom or bedroom related items). It will be kind of humorous though, because we won't have any furniture. You might have MIzzou lawn chairs to sit in, but by golly everything will match in the bathroom :) We could just make it universal and have a mizzou inspired house.

Wedding registries and planning also test a couple's relationship. Steve could not understand why I would register for 2 wire wisks (I have needed 2, by the way), yet he deviously scans motor oil when I am not looking.

With as much excitement and buzz that comes with surrounding the wedding, we really need to be intentional with preparing for the marriage. I have a few recently married friends who are helpful in offering this advice. I know it won't all be wedded bless. I know there will be petty stuff, and just stuff that comes from living together after not living in the same area for a long time. Along with this comes spiritual accountability, something Steve is good at doing in the subtlest of ways.....I just want to be more enamored with God than the idea of marriage and the wedding. We want the wedding ceremony to be a worship service and the reception to be a big party. Because, regardless of popular belief, the wedding is not about me or Steve, even if I pick the most hideous colors (which I won't) or nitpick the details. It is about worshipping God through our relationship with Him, one another, and our friends and family.

I just watched that movie about William Wilberforce. I think the movie was called Amazing Grace. William Wilberforce was a Brit inspired by John Newton to press abolition of the slave trade in Britain. He tried for over 15 years before slave trade was abolished. THis is quite a good movie about persistant faith despite failure. The song Amazing Grace reminds me of me.

In terms of accomplishing things over break, I did get to watch a movie, did get to spend some quality time with Steve, and have gotten to exercise frequently, which is boosting my endorphins (see a previous post). I still need to work on eating healthy though. I do have a weakness for free soda at work, especially when I'm tired. Setting a date for engagement pictures will hopefully inspire me more.

Well,

2008-01-17T19:53:00.000-06:00

A vacation would be nice right around this time, don't ya think?

I'll wait for you...

2008-01-08T22:11:00.000-06:00

Perhaps the theme of Steve's and my relationship as of now. We will have been together 3 years and 1 day when we get hitched. Out of those three years, there was probably less than a year that we were actually together in the same town. It's ok that we took our time before deciding anything. It doesn't mean that we don't love each other less. God works in different people in different ways. The wedding seems more and more real--and it's scary and exciting at the same time. Of course, we're still praying about our job/living situation. It's kind of lonely without him here :(

In other news, I'm trying to tone up without dieting. I know that sounds weird. And I know that as an influence to youth, I should stay away from phrases such as calling myself fat, going on a diet, or losing some pounds/weight. I really don't want to diet either. I just want to start eating more of some things and less of others.

I'm ok with how I am, but I do want to feel better/eat healthier. I like exercising, and would like to do it on a regular basis. I'm trying to figure out a schedule before I go back to school where I could get some exercise in, even if is just for a walk. I feel more energized and better about myself when I exercise. To put it in Reese Witherspoons words from "Legally Blond": Exercise makes you have endorphins. And endorphins make you happy. And Happy people just don't murder"
:)

A quick little survey

2008-01-04T19:23:00.000-06:00

1. Do you make New Year resolutions?
not usually. I didn't have a spciefic one for this year, but I kind of had one.

2. Is this something you take seriously, or is it a bit of fun?
This one is somewhat serious, but not too serious, although it should be, given family history.

3. Share one goal for 2008.
Only one? Probably eating healthier, although the cookies yesterday didn't help much (wink to Jennifer)

4. Money is no barrier, share one wild/ impossible dream for 2008
Steve and I would splurge on the wedding and honeymoon and take a trip around the world as part of our honeymoon, settling for a while in somewhere like Fiji

5. Someone wants to publish a story of your year in 2008, what will the title of that book be?
The Confused Anomaly

whatever

2008-01-02T20:02:00.000-06:00

I've been in a spiritual funk lately. I don't know how to describe it exactly, but it's a combination of a few things festering together, combined with some insecurites and such. Unfortunately, these spiritual funk is overlapping into other areas of my life a bit. Psalm 73 helped out a bit, but I think it will take some time and work.

I miss Steve. I am used to wearing the ring after 6 months, but I still look at it a lot. It has a sharp point, and I say that Steve gave it to me to defend myself. If anyone messes with me, I will simply punch them with my left arm. Of course, I still need to learn how to punch properly. Minor detail.

I'm also worried about the semester. I'm applying for a scholarship that seems really tough, I'm taking 4 classes (instead of 3 like last semester), and I'm going to be facilitating a missions study in February at church. So I'm getting overwhelmed early. I'm also going to try and read some books early and get that out of the way before school starts. I'm excited about the semester starting, though. What can I say, I'm kind of a nerd. I'm not excited about the decrease of sleep.

I'm not really digging the wedding planning, but am going to a bridal show this Sunday. There have been a couple of minor complications in regards to wedding planning, but nothing Steve and I can't handle. I'm just too much of a people pleaser when it comes to all this stuff.

Steve's in the process of applying for the state. We are praying. The sooner he gets here, the better. If anyone has any ideas, please let us know.

here's to 2007....

2007-12-27T20:16:00.000-06:00

10 memorable moments of 2007 (in not neccessarily any particular order):

1. getting engaged. well, duh.
2. going to my first professional football (Rams) and hockey (blues) games.
3. beginning seminary on the other side of the state, and getting a scholarship to do so.
4. graduating college.
5. Moving from St. Louis, and the stresses associated with finding another job, leaving friends, etc.
6. Finding a wedding dress
7. Refuge of Nations
8. going to 7 weddings of good friends, being a bridesmaid in one, participating in 4 total.
9. going to the lake 3 times in one year, and one float trip where we turned off all the lights and stared at the stars. (Steve was able to come to the lake twice!!)
10. being told that I was going to be a good minister someday, and have been clinging to that ever since.

A word on "missions"

2007-12-21T23:40:00.000-06:00

Here's an excerpt from an interview on a guy ministering and walking alongside with people from Mexico in a poor neighborhood. I've been having these thoughts rolling around in my head lately, and am wondering if I'm applying it to my lifestyle now. I dont think so, but by God's grace....anyways, here's the link to the article:
"We build our churches on power. But we never earn the respect of people around us. And with power comes the fantasy that I know it all, that I'm the one with competence to "fix" the society I'm in.
But there's actually great resistance to people coming into a poor community assuming they know what the people there need. We have realized that when we go into a new community, we have to take the stance that we don't know anything. We know who we are, we say, but we don't know how to work here. So we are open. Teach us, please.
When we have groups from North America or Europe visit us, I never have an agenda for the group or for the community. Instead, when the group arrives, we ask the community, "What can you do together? Would you be willing to do something together?" And the answer may be we just want to play football with you, or we'd like you to teach us something about computers. Or it may be, we're good dancers. Would you like to learn to dance from us?
Visitors say, What? I came to save the world. I came to change the world. My pastor said that we were going to Mexico to change the world for Christ. And you ask me to learn to dance your folk dances?
But you know, they learn much more through this process than just by believing these fantasies that a one- or two-week so-called mission trip will save the world."

Can I get an amen?

man, I miss this guy

2007-12-17T23:52:00.000-06:00

This was probably the first couple picture taken of us about a month after we started dating. Steve will be my trophy husband--even though he is older than me, he looks pretty young, and I look older than what I really am. So after we've been married for a while, he will look like a trophy husband, even though he will be the same trophy hubby the whole time. I hope that makes sense, I'm kind of tired. To get to the point, it will be nice to see him every day, he's currently looking for a job in the area in which I live, and we're praying that he can find one and that we can find a reasonable place to live. He truly is one of a kind--even if he wants to name our fictional dog Sir-poops-a lot. :) hey, there could be worse names, but I won't go there.

freedom....

2007-12-13T22:54:00.000-06:00

so I realized the last full free day I had before Tuesday was the last day before I started workin at the bank. That was about 3 months ago, I think. Tuesday, I slept in, took my grandparents to their house (they got power late Wed night, and left Thursday), and was kind of a lazy bum. It was absolutely wonderful.

I think I'm going to watch some movies over the break.....

And, hopefully, some with Steve.

And, i guess wedding plan as well--although it is far inferior than watching movies with steve.

I made it!

2007-12-10T22:20:00.000-06:00

(these pics were taken at our home on Sunday)

Despite the wintery weather, i made it to and from KC in one piece. My prof let me take the test early, so instead of leaving at 8 like I thought, I left at 6 or so. So the storm and I went home together.

Christian medieval history involves confusing the popes--which Gregory did what? Hmmm. Well, remember "C" is for Christ. Hopefully I pulled off at least a C for the troubles I went to to take the test.

As for the storm, Honestly, it was mostly rain. And honestly, it was more of a visibility issue than that of slipperiness. And it helped that I pretty much drove 50-60 mph the whole way home, getting home about 945ish. It was slippery at the gas station.

I felt pretty tough, even in my small little mean green machine.

My grandparents are staying with us since they lost power. We are very blessed to still have it.

Oh yeah, and I am officially finished with the first semester of seminary. I plan to actually watch a movie, hang out with friends, or have a life in general!

2007-12-09T20:31:00.000-06:00

So how am I supposed to get to school tommorow?
(see krcg.com)

hmmmm.....

maybe it's not that bad in KC

ok

2007-12-03T13:07:00.000-06:00

One either has to be crazy or extremely called to the depths of the soul to pursue vocational ministry.

a break from paper-writing

2007-12-01T18:08:00.000-06:00

Here is the holiday cleansing Friday Five from Revgals:

Please tell us your least favorite/most annoying seasonal....
1) dessert/cookie/family food
I'm iffy on the fruitcake, and a little too afraid to try it. In general, I like food
2) beverage (seasonal beer, eggnog w/ way too much egg and not enough nog, etc...)
Beer in general is plain gross
3) tradition (church, family, other)
The obligation of giving presents. I'm not a very good gift-giver and there is a slight obligation to give gifts to those who give gifts first/or those one doesn't know very well. Plus, it buys into the materialism associated with Christmas. We took the "Christ" out of Christmas a long time before we were fighting about it. (This is the cynic side coming out of me. Please take this brief whining a bit lightly). Let's just say that gift-giving isn't my spiritual gift ;)
4) decoration-
all-white penguins. Come to the bank, you'll see.
5) gift (received or given)
see 3.
BONUS: SONG/CD that makes you want to tell the elves where to stick it.
generally, it's acceptable, but only when I'm in the mood

2 words.....

2007-11-27T19:32:00.001-06:00

1. tests
2. papers

see ya after December 10th!

Here you go, Mel! Happy Turkey day--belated

2007-11-24T13:10:00.000-06:00

1. Did you go elsewhere for the day, or did you have visitors at your place instead? How was it? I went to my aunt and uncle's house about 2 1/2 hours away. Our whole family was there, 22 in all (except steve--it was our last thanksgiving apart).

2. Main course: If it was the turkey, the whole turkey, and nothing but the turkey, was it prepared in an unusual way? Or did you throw tradition to the winds and do something different? We had turkey and ham. Yum Yum

3. Other than the meal, do you have any Thanksgiving customs that you observe every year? football?

4. The day after Thanksgiving is considered a major Christmas shopping day by most US retailers. Do you go out bargain hunting and shop ‘till you drop, or do you stay indoors with the blinds closed? Or something in between? I worked and it was a slow day for us. I refuse to go shopping on black friday after working retail for just one year.

5. Let the HOLIDAY SEASON commence! When will your Christmas decorations go up? Good question. probably after finals

2007-11-20T22:40:00.000-06:00

so, I got a cold. I guess that comes with the territory. I carry around hand sanitizer and try not to get too close to anyone.

2 more weeks for 2 classes, 3 more weeks for another. holy cow, that semester goes by fast! Let's see...6 papers to go (but only 3 big ones I think, the rest are reflections.)

I miss Steve like no other. we should get married sometime.

speaking of which, i finally determined colors and a dress. woo hoo. I've been procrastinating lately on it, but will start when school stops.

wedding planning is pretty much overrated anyway. I'm not one of those extreme planners, martha stewart types. if things match, we'll be good. It's tougher doing this long distance. Maybe that's the reason.

I miss my church friends in St. Louis

I got this from Mel, the most awesome youth minister ever!!

2007-11-19T13:46:00.000-06:00

1. What is your occupation? Student/Banking
2. Do you like banana sandwiches? Nope
3. What are you listening to right now? The sound of my keyboard as I type
4. What was the last thing you ate? chocolate kisses
5. Do you wish on stars? Nope
6. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? I'd be one of those that has 5 colors depending on what way you turned it
7. How is the weather right now? Very warm for November. I enjoy the midwest's sporadic temps
8. Where are you? school
9. What is your favorite animal? Jackalope
10. How old are you today? 22
11. Favorite drink? peppermint mocha from starbucks
12. Favorite sport to watch? right now? college football-MIZZOU-RAH! usually, whatever's in season
13. Have you ever dyed your hair? yes.. am debating on it again
14. Do you wear contacts or glasses? both
15. Pets? cat and dog
16. Favorite month? right now, it's august. I wonder why....
17. Favorite food? too hard to pick. mushrooms?
18. What was the last movie you watched? I think we watched part of Psycho
19. Favorite day of the year? Every day I'm alive
20. What do you do to vent anger? I'm not good about venting anger. I mutter in my head. 21. What was your favorite toy as a child? honestly, don't remember. I do remember really liking this mermaid doll that changed colors in warm water
22. Hugs or kisses? HUGS
23. Cherry or Blueberry? Cherry
24. Do you want your friends to email you back? yes
25. Who is most likely to respond? dont know
26. Who is least likely to respond? hmmmm
27. Living arrangements? with the rents
28. When was the last time you cried? don't remember
29. What is on the floor of your closet? Shoes
30. Who is the friend you have had the longest? I'm copying of Mel and saying my sis, for 20 years
31. What did you do last night? worked on a paper
32. What are you afraid of? my limitations
33. What bugs you? my apathy
34. Plain, cheese or spicy hamburgers? cheesy
35. Favorite car? I should say my ideal car is my little volkswagen yellow beetle with cute interior that's a convertible.
36. Number of keys on your key ring? 2
37. How many years or months at your current job? 2-3 months
38. Favorite day of the week? Saturdays, or whenever I get to see steve
39. How many STATES/PROVINCES have you lived in? 1 so far! Hawaii, here we come;)

oh yeah, I tag....My sister and Jeniffer. You're it!

7 Random THings about me

2007-11-16T21:09:00.000-06:00

to procrastinate even further on a paper.......

1. My grandma and I went on a hot-air balloon ride for my high school graduation present. we landed in a middle of an intersection in a subdivision. It was awesome.

2. I'm stubborn as all get out on some things. If you don't believe me, ask Steve.

3. I'll try pretty much any food, except cottage cheese and any salad not made of lettuce.

4. I used to dance ballet. Given my clumbsiness, I don't think it had long lasting effects. However, I was decent at tap, and I often wonder if I could take another tap class.

5. I like pretty much any kind of music except for heavy metal, which is Steve's favorite kind of music.

6. I found out last year that I'm allergic to cats, dogs, some grass and trees, and mold. I used to take allergy shots, but have not transferred to an allergist in the area I live in now. My parents have two cats that aren't going anywhere anytime soon. Dad said he'd pay Steve $20 to run over the cats. Steve has yet to do so.

7. New Testament exegesis paper is harder than it appears.

tagging:

jennifer
jeni

I'm not as smart as I try to be

2007-11-14T21:26:00.001-06:00

Tonight, we had an awesome "Edge" with the middle school youth. Here's some sprinkles of that discussion:

"Do you think angels have "trick my wings" in heaven?"

"If the world is round, how can we stand up straight?"

On temtpation in Matthew 4:

"If the devil took Jesus to the highest temple in the holy city, couldn't other people see them?"

"Why is the devil red?" after explaining that the devil's portrait is really a artist's rendention, then another question came:

"WOuldn't it be cool if the devil was pink?"

yes, it would be

explanation to earlier post

2007-11-13T23:09:00.001-06:00

Eucharistic theology
created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Calvin

You are John Calvin. You seek to be faithful to Scripture, and to harmonize difficult sayings. You believe that in the Lord's Supper those who have faith are united to Christ, who is present spiritually, yet in a real way.

MBU has worn off on me...

2007-11-13T23:08:00.001-06:00

a letter to my little green mean machine

2007-11-08T17:06:00.001-06:00

Dear little green mean machine (aka the neon):

You have been a great friend for the last almost 3 years. I fell in like with you when I first met you. Your smallness was just what I needed in a fast paced St. Louis world. Although the deerslayer (aka the minivan) was a hard act to follow, you bravely stood up to the challenge.

You did stand up to the challenge. You've traveled from Northern Illinois to Kansas, to almost to Arkansas. You went in a not-so-safe part of St. Louis to back and unknown country roads.

You've been a ministry companion to me. You've taken friends to work, and have faithfully gone with me on visits. Many passengers from college, my internship, and my friends have been graced by your presence.

I appreciate you, and have tried to take care of you as best as I know how.
You're not much to look at, and you are simple to operate. In some ways, we are kind of alike. But what you lack in ascetics you make up with humlity and perserverence. Because of you I can go to school and minister.

Now you are dreadfully sick, but I'm hoping to keep you around for a while. Please do not give up!! You still got some spark left in you, even if others don't agree. You mean a lot to me, although sometimes I wish I wasn't so dependent upon you.

I'll do my best to make sure you are ok. Thank you, little mean green machine.

your friend and owner,

Kate

quick updates

2007-11-06T22:26:00.000-06:00

as for now, will expound later.
~went to a friend's wedding this weekend and got to catch up with the best community group ever!! it is rare that one finds friends that are so accepting and loving, despite my blunders and screwups along the way.

~paid hundreds of dollarsto have my car half fixed in Johnson County, KS (I couldn't have it all fixed, but at least I could drive home from KC). If Steve hadn't checked out my car before I left St. Louis, I probably wouldn't have one

~Tigers are in the top 10--ranking about 6 or 7. still finding it hard to believe

~got a bridesmaids dress for really cheap for a friend's wedding in March.

~in any situation, I am better than I deserve

The Gospel and change

2007-10-30T20:23:00.000-05:00

So,

I've been hearing a lot about that if Christians want to have an impact on the world, they first must impact the major cities. THis is true in many cases and in other secular areas. Fashion trends begin in cities like LA and New York before spreading elsewhere. The best education is, for the most part, in urban centers. Cities also have diverse populations, and a Christian can minister to many people groups in a relatively small area.

Well, what about everyone else who doesn't live in the city? Do they have to miss out on the gospel, just because they are located in an inconvienent area? Sometimes, many people, esepcially in smaller cities/towns do not have a positive image of Christianity or the church because its presence is stronger, in both good and bad ways. In urban areas, people who do not consider themselves Christian are less likely to be affected by the church because its presence is not as pervasive.

What happens when there is change needed in a small city/town, yet all the Christians who want change are in the cities? The trickle down effect is not always, well.... effective. Perhaps the greatest influence of St. Louis on my town has been the St. Louis Cardinals and Budweiser (just to note, I don't drink beer), although there might be small influences I'm unaware of.

To put urban centers (and churches within urban centers) in a higher position in terms of theology, positive biblical change, and missiology is not always a positive thing. If we bypass smaller cities/towns/rural areas because they are less apt to change or harder to reach, we are in a sense giving up on a large number of people that Jesus loves.

(This is a reflective response to a sermon I heard. Most of the sermon was good and biblical, but this part bothered me a great deal).

In other news of the life of K8.....
-I did well on my first two major tests--better than I expected, even though I didn't know exactly what to expect, given I had never taken a test under those professors before.

-I'm super excited that Mizzou is in the top 10, and am afraid it won't last. When they play Colorado, Steve and I will be at a wedding reception in coincidently, St. Louis. Hopefully Steve will be able to check the game occassionally.

-I'm enjoying seminary, and have some great professors who know tons and really enjoy their jobs.

-I haven't wedding planned very much. It's a job that's really kind of overrated

-in seminary a grade "c" is for Christ. After coming from a school where it was relatively easy for me to earn an A, I'm finding it immensly more difficult in seminary. Which is not neccessarily a bad thing...

-I'm missing my friends, who are spread all over--St. Louis, Virginia Beach, Africa (I think she's in Kenya or Botswana), and, pretty soon, Miami. If I had money, I would visit. I'm thankful that I can laugh my face off with my friends, whether its with fart machines or flower picking; sledding or long walks.

question

2007-10-23T23:24:00.000-05:00

Please let me know, lest I be a heretic, Is it ok to laugh at this?

hello, friends

2007-10-23T20:38:00.000-05:00

This is not the first blog I have written, but it is the first blog under blogspot. I, like others, have followed the trend to move here. This also marks the turning of a new page. Let me introduce myself to you really quick.

I hail from the midwest in a medium sized town. I currently live in this town, although I go to seminary in Kansas City about 3 hours away for two days a week. I also work part time in my hometown, as well as lead middle school Sunday School and Wed. night bible study. I like acting like a middle schooler.

My goal in attending seminary is that I have believed God has called me to ministry in either an assistant-pastorate/missions position or something of that nature. Hopefully, later in the future, I would like to teach a couple of adjunct classes in an university.

My undergrad schooling that I came from in St. Louis was a wonderful, amazing experience. Although most in my area if study did not agree doctrinally with me on my position on women in ministry, I gained some wonderful friends and learned under some wonderful professors.

In St. Louis I also met my fiancee. We will be getting married in August! He's my best friend, and we are currently doing the long distance thing. He is truly better than I deserve, and he likes all of the right sports teams except for preferring the lambs (cough, Rams) over the Chiefs. But I love him anyway:)

Most people in the Christian world (and maybe the secular) think of women pastors/ministers/aspiring pastors/ministers as either under two categories:

1. Charismatic (think Joyce Meyer, Pentecostalism, Assemblies of God)
-or-
2. liberal (most think of mainline churches, largely traditional in liturgy, urban)

Well, many of the women pastors I have met are neither. I guess part of my purpose in writing this blog would be to debunk some stereotypes about Christianity, women, seminary, etc. while not making a big deal while doing so.

I don't like to label my theology as conservative or liberal, but one can tell probably from my past writings. I arrogantly think my theology does not have directions--and I try to not make a big deal or mess with these directional mindsets. There is bigger kingdom work to discuss.

My previous blog is www.xanga.com/kate11385